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After the Industrial Revolution and significantly with developing technology, living standards have improved with the time of living, the quality of transportation, and accommodation worldwide

After the Industrial Revolution and significantly with developing technology, living standards have improved with the time of living, the quality of transportation, and accommodation worldwide ndL7K
After the Industrial Revolution and significantly with developing technology, living standards have improved with the time of living, the quality of transportation, and accommodation worldwide. Today's people probably desire more expectations for the future than their ancestors due to this reason. Therefore, the following statements aim to give some idea to the readers about the affirmatives and negatives of this situation and will demonstrate some details on the topic. First of all, according to most anthropologists, our ancestors used to live with the philosophy of "carpe diem" because there was not any definiteness of their living tomorrow. For instance, if they could not discover a secure place to accommodate or even provide for themselves adequate nutrition, they would not live tomorrow. Thus, this is obvious that today's people with distinct needs and desires are different from those in the past. In particular, after some technological innovations, they always seek better conditions, such as better vocations, better houses, better parents, and better aliments. As a result, today's earth hosts many dissatisfied and people who are in depression due to cannot reaching these requirements. In other respect, people can utilize this circumstance, which they have to cope with; in other words, this may be a unique condition that people can develop themselves because of this discontent. To illustrate, people constantly struggle to beat the record in every area by using this dissatisfaction and expectation; everybody can see these things on Guinness World Records. In conclusion, living standards are rising day by day, and people desire to acquire more advanced things in their life. Thereupon, they can fall into despair if they are unsuccessful in achieving this; notwithstanding, they can benefit from this hopelessness to obtain more instead. In my view, everyone should taste the feeling of despair to illustrate their talents properly in their lives and careers.
After the Industrial Revolution and
significantly
with developing technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standards have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
with the time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
, the quality of transportation, and accommodation worldwide.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
probably
desire more expectations for the future than their ancestors due to this reason.
Therefore
, the following statements aim to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to the readers about the affirmatives and negatives of this situation and will demonstrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on the topic.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, according to most anthropologists, our ancestors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with the philosophy of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
carpe diem
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there was not any definiteness of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
tomorrow.
For instance
, if they could not discover a secure place to accommodate or even provide for themselves adequate nutrition, they would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
tomorrow.
Thus
, this is obvious that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with distinct needs and desires are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from those in the past.
In particular
, after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
technological innovations, they always seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
conditions, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
vocations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
parents, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
aliments.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's earth hosts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
dissatisfied and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in depression due to cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "reach"
reaching
these requirements.

In other respect,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can utilize this circumstance, which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with;
in other words
, this may be a unique condition that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can develop themselves
because of this
discontent. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
constantly
struggle to beat the record in every area by using this dissatisfaction and expectation; everybody can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these things on Guinness World Records.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standards are rising day by day, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to acquire more advanced things in their life. Thereupon, they can fall into despair if they are unsuccessful in achieving this; notwithstanding, they can benefit from this hopelessness to obtain more
instead
. In my view, everyone should taste the feeling of despair to illustrate their talents
properly
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and careers.
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IELTS essay After the Industrial Revolution and significantly with developing technology, living standards have improved with the time of living, the quality of transportation, and accommodation worldwide

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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