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Affection of majority laguages on the minority languages.

Affection of majority laguages on the minority languages. dOj6
This essay is about the affection of majority languages on the minority ones. In recent years majority languages such as English, Spanish, Mandarin have widely spoken in several areas in the world which affected some languages. Therefore, the cultural diversity has been corroded. It is extremely important to protect the minority languages and cultures otherwise the world will experience a cultural distortion followed by languages extinction. Some people think putting a strict instructions and restricting laws in order to pin down the usage of the foreign languages specially the major ones. While others think developing the language activities and increasing the proportion of the local languages in the curriculums Is enough to tackle this problem. In my view we should compromise wisely to benefit from major languages which ease the trade and world communications in all fields. Meanwhile, keep the minor languages and heritage cultures. The aim of this essay is to expose some problems which doesn’t take part on the media it concern the minorities and affect the entire world.
This essay is about the affection of majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
on the minority ones.

In recent
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "years'" or "year's"?
years
majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
such as English, Spanish, Mandarin have
widely
spoken in several areas in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Therefore
, the cultural diversity has
been corroded
.

It is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to protect the minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and cultures
otherwise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will experience a cultural distortion followed by
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "languages'" or "language's"?
languages
extinction.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
putting a strict instructions and restricting laws in order to pin down the usage of the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
specially
the major ones. While others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
activities and increasing the proportion of the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
curriculums


Is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to tackle this problem.

In my view we should compromise
wisely
to benefit from major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the trade and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
communications in all fields. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and heritage cultures.

The aim of this essay is to expose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems which doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
on the media it
Did you mean "concerns"?
concern
the minorities and affect the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
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IELTS essay Affection of majority laguages on the minority languages.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
171 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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