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Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. nwqR
It is a common belief that local authorities should invest more money on recration and sports than on education. However, I firmly believe that it is more important to develop education. On the one hand, one benefit for government to spend more money on education is that the equality of the society can be enchanced. Instead of poor having a lack of chances to study, government can invest on education in order to develop a free eduactional system, which allow provide equal opportunities for every children to get exposed to unknown knowledge, causing the educational level of citizens become higher. They will consequently be more competitive, therefore the country can be improved more quickly. Second, less society problems need to be solve by the government, in terms of social security. Since, everyone has the opportunity to be educated, their critical thinking skill can be trained, which means they have the ability to identitify what is right or wrong, therefore less citizens will engage in criminal activities, the social will consequently become more safe and peaceful. On the other hand, some trust that it will be better to spend more on sports. First, the burden of people nowasday is increasing, leading to mental illness, in terms of depression or anxiety, being suffered by a rising number of people. While, sports is one of the most effective means for people to relive stress, therefore, if the government spend more money on sports to encourage people to work out, thier level of stress may be lower. Apart from mental illness, a majority of people are facing physical problems, such as heart disease or obsiety, because of the lack of ecercise. Therefore, if more sport centres are built or a program is set up, more citizens may be motivited and able to build up a habit to work out, which can help them solve their physical problems. In conclision, it is undineable that there are a few different advantages of investing on sports, in the contrary, I still firmly believe that it a wiser choice if the government spend more money on education, because of the development and security of the community.
It is a common belief that local authorities should invest more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
recration
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
However
, I
firmly
believe that it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to develop education.

On the one hand, one benefit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is that the equality of the society can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
enchanced
.
Instead
of poor having a lack of chances to study,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can invest on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in order to develop a free
Possible spelling mistake found.
eduactional
system, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Please check whether 'to' is missing here (to allow to do something).
provide
equal opportunities for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "child"?
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to unknown knowledge, causing the educational level of citizens become higher. They will
consequently
be more competitive,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
the country can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
more
quickly
. Second, less society problems need to be
Consider using a past participle here: "solved".
solve
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, in terms of social security. Since, everyone has the opportunity to
be educated
, their critical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
can
be trained
, which means they have the ability to
Possible spelling mistake found.
identitify
what is right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun citizens is countable.
less
citizens will engage in criminal activities, the social will
consequently
become more safe and peaceful.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trust that it will be better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
First
, the burden of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowasday
is increasing, leading to mental illness, in terms of depression or anxiety,
being suffered
by a rising number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is one of the most effective means for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to relive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work out,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
may be lower. Apart from mental illness, a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing physical problems, such as heart disease or
Possible spelling mistake found.
obsiety
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecercise
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, if more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are built
or a program
is set
up, more citizens may be
Possible spelling mistake found.
motivited
and able to build up a habit to work out, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them solve their physical problems.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conclision
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
undineable
that there are a few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
advantages of investing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, in the contrary, I
still
firmly
believe that
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
a wiser choice if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development and security of the community.
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IELTS essay Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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