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Advertisement benefits and drawbacks

Advertisement benefits and drawbacks x2LRo
Nowadays, in the present world a lot competitive attitude has taken place. Everyone wishes to be a step ahead than others. Due to this mentality advertisement proves itself best source. Advertisement proves itself very much useful in many ways to seek lost people, shops purchases, selling plots etc. The top-notch use of advertisement which Everyone accepts in practical world is to grow their business wider. Another reason which supports my point is that due to this advertisements several people gets employment. The most common factor that can't be neglected is companies with best daily use items get their majority of customers from the means of advertisements. As per increasing technology in current world, everything has some bad points, same holds for advertisement too. It makes us buy the things which we even don't need. Also we can't take our eyes off from the suppressing rate of crimes due to advertisement. Connecting up with my point again, I would resist on present craze of advertising that has taken a way from so far. There are numerous strong points supporting advertisement as best source in present world.
Nowadays, in the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a
It seems that there's a missing preposition after ''.
lot
competitive attitude has taken place. Everyone wishes to be a step
Use "(ahead)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
ahead
than others. Due to this mentality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
proves itself best source.

Advertisement proves itself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much useful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to seek lost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, shops
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, selling plots etc. The top-notch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
which Everyone accepts in practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is to grow their business wider. Another reason which supports my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
is that due to
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
gets
employment. The most common factor that can't
be neglected
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
A determiner is probably missing here: "with the best".
with best
daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their majority of customers from the means of advertisements.

As per increasing technology in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, everything has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
, same holds for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
too. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the things which we even don't need.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
we can't take our eyes off from the suppressing rate of crimes due to advertisement.

Connecting up with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
again, I would resist on present craze of advertising that has taken a way from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far. There are numerous strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
as best source in present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
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IELTS essay Advertisement benefits and drawbacks

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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