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Advantages outweigh the disadvantages of studying oversea

Advantages outweigh the disadvantages of studying oversea J3b16
Studying overseas has became a known phenomenal in recent years. While studying abroad can connect our students in term of cultural knowledge unfortunately it can be extremely more expensive than studying in their own country. However, in my opinion, despite the financial challenges, studying overseas can outweigh the obstacles that the student could face. To begin with, the main disadvantage would be the financial cost. Furthermore, purchasing flight tickets, house rental and student visa cost could be expensive compare to studying in your own country. Moreover, the currency exchange is huge obstacle for them as well. For example, a friend of mine who is from Saudi Arabia has studied his degree in USA. While his overall monthly expenses were not more than 1000 $ in Saudi, in US he used to spend a significantly higher amount of 3000 $ in NewYork and he barely afforded that amount of money. Sometimes, he used to ask and borrow the money in the middle of the month from me so that he survive there. Therefore, the price difference of studying out compared to studying in your own country is the only main obstacle. In the other hand, cultural knowledge gained by students who studied abroad could be significantly beneficial for them. Our world needs more than ever to be culturally connected. One of the main reason we face racism is due to lack of cultural gab the media created. For instance, some social media influencers try to show the muslim world as savages while in reality they can be ordinary humans like the others. This kind of misleading informations could be completely destroyed when the student see and meet muslim student by his own. For this particular reason, oversea learning can bright and help vanishing the hate between us as humans. In conclusion, universities has gained a lot from foreigner students in the past decades. As mentioned above, the cost could be high but the gained cultural knowledge is worth the cost. Overall, the disadvantages can not outweigh the positive impact that could be gained.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
overseas has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
a known phenomenal in recent years.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad can connect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
knowledge unfortunately it can be
extremely
more expensive than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.
However
, in my opinion, despite the financial challenges,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas can outweigh the obstacles that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
could face.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main disadvantage would be the financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
.
Furthermore
, purchasing flight tickets,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rental and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
visa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
could be expensive compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.
Moreover
, the currency exchange is huge obstacle for them
as well
.
For example
, a friend of mine who is from Saudi Arabia has studied his degree
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
. While his
overall
monthly expenses were not more than
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1000".
1000 $
in Saudi, in US he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend a
significantly
higher amount of
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$3000".
3000 $
in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
NewYork and
he
barely
afforded that amount of money.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to ask and borrow the money in the middle of the month from me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he survive there.
Therefore
, the price difference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
out compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
main obstacle.

In the other hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who studied abroad could be
significantly
beneficial for them. Our world needs more than ever to be
culturally
connected. One of the main reason we face racism is due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
gab the media created.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social media influencers try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
muslim
world as savages while in reality they can be ordinary humans like the others. This kind of misleading
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
could be completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
Possible spelling mistake found.
muslim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
by his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. For this particular reason, oversea learning can bright and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to vanish" or "vanish".
vanishing
the hate between us as humans.

In conclusion
, universities has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gained
a lot from foreigner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the past decades. As mentioned above, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
could be high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
knowledge is worth the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
.
Overall
, the disadvantages can not outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact that could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gained
.
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IELTS essay Advantages outweigh the disadvantages of studying oversea

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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