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Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy? dYGo
Nowadays digital access to the internet and online trading make a world like a small village. While some believe that internet shopping will finish the local business shops, I believe that it will not affect them. Firstly, while you are using digital shopping websites you may chage for some hidden costs which are not mentioned in promotions. Although you can find the cheaper things on the internet, it may cost you more when you want to return the product deliver to you, due to any reasons. Secondly, the street shops are more convenient The supporter of online shopping say that it's more comfortable to order anytime and from anyhere, however by going to local market you are having instant access to product and there is no extra delivery time needed, you just buy and use your items immediately. Lastly, the experince of In-store shopping is still the best way for items selection. You cann't get the idea of product quality until unless touching it. For example, if you want to buy the shoes for you, you can search hundreds of shoes and do price comparision but the feeling you get while seeing and sense it by your hand wil be best way of decision making. In conclusion, although internet shopping is comfortable and cheaper method, it will not going to replace the local market shops because they are more convenient, allow us to feel in-store experience and you aren't going to overcharge to return the items.
Nowadays digital access to the internet and online trading
make
a world like a
small
village. While
some
believe that internet
shopping
will finish the local business shops, I believe that it will not affect them.

Firstly
, while you are using digital
shopping
websites you may
chage
for
some
hidden costs which are not mentioned in promotions. Although you can find the cheaper things on the internet, it may cost you more when you want to return the product deliver to you, due to any reasons.

Secondly
, the street shops are more convenient The supporter of online
shopping
say that it's more comfortable to order anytime and from
anyhere
,
however
by going to local market you are having instant access to product and there is no extra delivery time needed, you
just
buy
and
use
your items immediately.

Lastly
, the
experince
of In-store
shopping
is
still
the best way for items selection. You
cann
't
get
the
idea
of product quality until unless touching it.
For example
, if you want to
buy
the shoes for you, you can search hundreds of shoes and do price
comparision
but
the feeling you
get
while seeing and sense it by your hand
wil
be best
way of
decision making
.

In conclusion
, although internet
shopping
is comfortable and cheaper method, it will not
going
to replace the local market shops
because
they are more convenient,
allow
us to feel in-store experience and you aren't going to overcharge to return the items.
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IELTS essay Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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