Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A university wants to improve the quality of life for students by making a new area in the dormitories Which of the following do you think would be the most effective in achieving this goal an area for studying an area for exercising an entertainment area

A university wants to improve the quality of life for students by making a new area in the dormitories Which of the following do you think would be the most effective in achieving this goal an area for studying an area for exercising an entertainment area 56N2B
Decisions of educational organizations are capable of heavily influencing students’ life; these judgements should be reflected adequately before they are put on action. Personally, I believe that building exercises facility at the dormitories is extremely beneficial for students living there and the university itself. I feel this way for two main reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, university can facilitate learners to carry out physical movements in order to improve their health and concentration, in turn, grades of classes. If universities do not offer facilities designed for doing workout, learners will be unable to improve their health by regularly accomplishing exercises. Therefore, they will probably start developing some disorders such as anxiety or other troubles related to lack of movement. On the other hand, pupils who study at postsecondary institutions which provide exercise places can avoid these problems easily by doing trainings. Moreover, they can enhance their grade because they do not have to expend time for going to hospitals by virtue of health problems, and because their concentration will be improved. Consequently, the university will help students to have satisfactory grades and health if the institution builds the sports place. Secondly, training locations have less alternatives, compared to places for learning and entertainment. There are many options for undergraduates to have fun with others, and study their lesson. On the other hand, opportunity to carry out workout is limited to certain places such as fitness. Therefore, the organizations need provide students with chance to do exercises because they nearly have not alternative choices, especially for ones living at their campus. For example, there is no place for learning, doing exercises, and having fun at my university. In fact, I am managing everything aside from workout. I usually do my assignments at my room, and have fun with friends at café or other places. However, finding another choice to accomplish body training is my significant problem because I cannot do exercise neither near to campus nor at my room. If my university had built sport facility, I would have not confront such difficulties. In summation, I am of the opinion that the university need to construct the facility designed for doing exercises. This is because exercise is good for students’ health, and other alternatives for doing exercise is few.
Decisions of educational organizations are capable of
heavily
influencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
life; these judgements should
be reflected
adequately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
are put
on action.
Personally
, I believe that building
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "exercises'" or "exercise's"?
exercises
facility at the dormitories is
extremely
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
living there and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
itself. I feel this way for two main reasons, and I will develop these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can facilitate learners to carry out physical movements in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and concentration, in turn, grades of classes. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
do not offer facilities designed for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
workout, learners will be unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by
regularly
accomplishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
.
Therefore
, they will
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disorders such as anxiety or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
troubles related to lack of movement. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, pupils who study at
Possible spelling mistake found.
postsecondary
institutions which provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can avoid these problems
easily
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
trainings.
Moreover
, they can enhance their grade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
expend time for going to hospitals by virtue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their concentration will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have satisfactory grades and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
if the institution builds the sports place.

Secondly
, training locations have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun alternatives is countable.
less
alternatives, compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for learning and entertainment. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options for undergraduates to have fun with others, and study their lesson. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, opportunity to carry out workout
is limited
to certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as fitness.
Therefore
, the organizations need provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with chance to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
nearly
have not alternative choices,
especially
for
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
living at their campus.
For example
, there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for learning,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
, and having fun at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. In fact, I am managing everything aside from workout. I
usually
do my assignments at my room, and have fun with friends at café or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
However
, finding another choice to accomplish body training is my significant problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I cannot do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
neither near to campus nor at my room. If my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
had built sport facility, I would have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "confronted".
confront
such difficulties.

In summation, I am of the opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
need to construct the facility designed for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternatives for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is few.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay A university wants to improve the quality of life for students by making a new area in the dormitories Which of the following do you think would be the most effective in achieving this goal an area for studying an area for exercising an entertainment area

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
387 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • A university wants to improve the quality of life for students by making a new area in the dormitories Which of the following do you think would be the most effective in achieving this goal an area for studying an area for exercising an entertainment area