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A small town vs. a big city

A small town vs. a big city PRDKp
Considering whether they live in a small town or in a big city, people have different opinions. Some of them believe that small towns are quite and cozy for living in, but others, with regard to the facts that a large number of merits exist in living in big cities, they prefer to be in a big city instead of a small city, and I agree with them. In the following paragraphs, I will consider some of the reasons for verifying my opinion. First, in a big city there is a wide range of places for people to spend their leisure times such as parks, restaurants, cinemas, shopping places and even stadiums in order to watching football games. People living in a big city have more entertainments and have better lives due to a large number of facilitates existing in cities. Second, Although if you are to apply your cars for instance in order to get to your jobs, you will face to several problems in a big city like heavy traffic, while you will not encounter these problems in a small town, the public transportation resolve these problems. Thus, in big cities it is better using Public transportation. For instance, by using metro trains you can move and reach any corner of city. Third, almost greater universities are in cities with large population and better transportation. Therefore, if you are required to study in an amazing university, and if you live in a small town, with no doubt you should leave that town and go to a good city to study in major interested. Moreover, that may help you find better jobs. Also living a big city may provide you better opportunities. In conclusion, albeit either of living in a big city or small town may have their advantages for that people who prefer each of them, I would rather live in a big city because in my opinion a big city has more advantages to offer than a small town can offer, such as better facilities, transportation, schools, universities, and jobs.
Considering whether they
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live
in a
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small
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town
or in a
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big
city,
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people
have
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different
opinions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them believe that
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small
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towns
are quite and cozy for
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living
in,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others, with regard to the facts that
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
merits exist in
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living
in
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big
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cities
, they prefer to be in a
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big
city
instead
of a
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small
city, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them. In the following paragraphs, I will consider
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons for verifying my opinion.

First
, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city there is a wide range of places for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend their leisure times such as parks, restaurants, cinemas, shopping places and even stadiums in order to
Did you mean "watch"?
watching
football games.
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People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city have more entertainments and have
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better
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lives
due to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
facilitates existing in cities.

Second, Although if you are to apply your cars
for instance
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to your jobs, you will face to several problems in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city like heavy traffic, while you will not encounter these problems in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, the public
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transportation
resolve these problems.
Thus
, in
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big
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cities
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
using Public
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transportation
.
For instance
, by using metro trains you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and reach any corner of city.

Third, almost greater universities are in
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cities
with large population and
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better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
Therefore
, if you
are required
to study in an amazing university, and if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, with no doubt you should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
that
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town
and go to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
city to study in major interested.
Moreover
, that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
jobs.
Also
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living
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city may provide you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
opportunities.

In conclusion
, albeit either of
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living
in a
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big
city or
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small
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town
may have their advantages for that
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people
who prefer each of them, I would
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in my opinion a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city has more advantages to offer than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
can offer, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
facilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, schools, universities, and jobs.

IELTS essay A small town vs. a big city

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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