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A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? 1YOG
In this modern era people being judged based on their wealth, status in society and the significance of belief, gentleness and privilege such older traditions are disappearing. To certain extent I agree that everyone seeks attention on social networking sites to become popular among other by expensive goods. However old values in society still exist in relationships to hold with trust, nobility and goodness. First of first, we are living in the society which believe in wealth, development and materialistic culture. Everyone follows their favorite celebrities on instagram or twitter after watching their lifestyle on become influenced. Due to which It becomes possessives to get the same expensive things by own. those people who have rich in wealth starts showing off among the society moreover, influenced other persons in same age group. Although, the Bollywood stars children get the initiatives to perform in films on behalf of their parents, some talented participants have not get that same chance. As result the social status and wealth is the most considerable part these days. Although, traditional values such as respect others, greetings, discipline and helpful nature are seems to gone these days, it still alive in some communities. Most of cases, business dealing with clients are relay on trust and commitments. Due to such things many company’s are growing in their businesses. Furthermore every couple looking for affection, trust and humanity from their partner for stability in relationship. as well as employers are still accessing their employee potential towards their work with positive behavior and trust worthy. Therefore it is essential for everyone to learn old traditions and good values are equally important for the betterment in society. In conclusion, people are grab their attention by wealth and expensive goods among other people nowadays, however I believe that old traditional values like trust, honor and kindness can never be diminish in our society. Therefore we should teach our society to adopt these values in social life to get successful.
In this modern era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being judged
based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
, status in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the significance of belief, gentleness and privilege such older traditions are disappearing. To certain extent I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that everyone seeks attention on social networking sites to become popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
by expensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
values in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
still
exist in relationships to hold with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
, nobility and goodness.

First
of
first
, we are living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
which believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
, development and materialistic culture. Everyone follows their favorite celebrities on
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
or twitter after watching their lifestyle on become influenced. Due to which It becomes possessives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the same expensive things by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have rich in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
showing off among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
moreover
, influenced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
persons in same age group. Although, the Bollywood stars children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the initiatives to perform in films on behalf of their parents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
talented participants have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "got", "gotten".
get
that same chance. As result the social status and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
is the most considerable part these days.

Although, traditional values such as respect others, greetings, discipline and helpful nature are seems
Did you mean "to go"?
to gone
these days,
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
still
alive in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
communities.
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the cases") or simply say "Most cases".
Most of cases
, business dealing with clients are relay on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
and commitments. Due to such things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s are growing in their businesses.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
every couple looking for affection,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
and humanity from their partner for stability in relationship.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
well as employers are
still
accessing their employee potential towards their work with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
behavior and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
worthy.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is essential for everyone to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
values are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the betterment in society.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are grab their attention by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
and expensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays,
however
I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditional values like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
, honor and kindness can
The adverb 'never' is usually put between 'be' and 'diminish'.
never be diminish
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
we should teach our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to adopt these values in social life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
successful.
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IELTS essay A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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