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A person can achieve success only if he spends each and every moment of his day working towards his goal. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

A person can achieve success only if he spends each and every moment of his day working towards his goal. xmPnb
In this modern era, people have to work hard to achieve their goals. While, some people argue that people have to work hard everyday and every moment, but some people argue that people should balance their life. On my point of view, I prefer keeping a balance in life, in this essay I shall discuss on the factors in strengthening my arguement. Firstly, people who have a life goal should work towards achieving it at every possible time they have. For example, those who do higher studies in foreign countries have to earn and carry out their studies at the same time. Moreover, those who have committed towards their goals will benefit the value of their sacrifice in the future. On the other hand, if a person is dedicated only for a specific goal he will lose attention on other aspects of life. For instance, students have to focus on studies, but at the same time he has to spend some time in physical fitness activities to keep physical fitness which is the key for mental stability. In addition, students need to engage in aesthetic subjects for relaxation. Therefore, students mainly have to balance their student life with extra curricular activities a s well. In conclusion, it is recommended to keep more attention on person's goal, while balancing relationship with family and the society. If not, that would not creat a better citizen to the society irrespective of the academic achievements. Finally, governments bear the responsibility of creating a society as well.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
. While,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and every moment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should balance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. On my point of view, I prefer keeping a balance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, in this essay I shall discuss on the factors in strengthening my
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguement
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
should work towards achieving it at every possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they have.
For example
, those who do higher studies in foreign countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
earn and carry out their studies at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Moreover
, those who have committed towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
will benefit the value of their sacrifice in the future.

On the other hand
, if a person
is dedicated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
he will lose attention on other aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in physical fitness activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
physical fitness which is the key for mental stability.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to engage in aesthetic subjects for relaxation.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
balance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
activities
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
s well.

In conclusion
, it
is recommended
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
more attention on person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
, while balancing relationship with family and the society. If not, that would not
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
a better citizen to the society irrespective of the academic achievements.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
bear the responsibility of creating a society
as well
.
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IELTS essay A person can achieve success only if he spends each and every moment of his day working towards his goal.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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