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A number of advertisement is increasing at higher speed, what is the main reason?

A number of advertisement is increasing at higher speed, what is the main reason? pRe3m
Advertisement is believed to proliferate quickly. Advertising is a marketing communication to introduce the productions. There are many reasons for advertising but there could be a direct correlation between advertisement and more sales. Nowadays due to the variety of products the companies are in a severe competition. Not only the more advertisements even with unreal features, lead to attracting more customers, it would be a way to win the rivalry among other companies as well. Also because of this competition some modern advertising techniques have expended such as, display billboard, television commercial, and online advertisings.
Advertisement
is believed
to proliferate
quickly
. Advertising is a marketing communication to introduce the productions. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there could be a direct correlation between advertisement and more sales. Nowadays due to the variety of products the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are in a severe competition. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the more advertisements even with unreal features, lead to attracting more customers, it would be a way to win the rivalry among other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
as well
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
because of this
competition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
modern advertising techniques have expended such as, display billboard, television commercial, and online
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings
.
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IELTS essay A number of advertisement is increasing at higher speed, what is the main reason?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
95 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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