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A lot of women prefer to stay at home without working, they prefer only their husband to work because men are bread winners of the family.

A lot of women prefer to stay at home without working, they prefer only their husband to work because men are bread winners of the family. 3amkl
Woman - mother. These words are devoted to each other. Woman is a miracle of Allakh. We can see beautyness saying this word. Woman is not only mother, but lovely wife. Men can not live without women, so they should respect and love them. Men are head heads of the family. From ancient times they are considered as an advocates of their family. As we know women are also supportive person in many families. Yet the salary of their husband may not be much enough. From one hand I agree that women must work. Because they want to help their husbands and they want to improve the financial condition of their families. Actually, they have not much time to work, since they should bring up their children, do the housework and other important things. The women consider responsible themselves in these works. But in the other hand I do not agree with that women need work, despite their famillies '' financial condition. After having a baby they should improve their health, beauty and figure. Some women prefer to sit at home and bring up their children, go to beauty saloons, fitness and entertaining parties. They think that their husband are breadwinners, that is why they must support them with financial ways. They prefer to go shopping and buy fascinating things. However, in my country a number of men do not want their wives working, they consider that women are sit at home doing housework. As they are jealous. A lot of women like this situations. In conclusion I can say that husband is a head and wife is a neck, so head can not turn and look around without a neck. In my opinion women and men should move without disagreements. In that case they can improve their lives.
Woman
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
mother. These words
are devoted
to each other. Woman is a miracle of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Allakh
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Possible spelling mistake found.
beautyness
saying this word. Woman is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mother,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lovely wife.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should respect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
are head heads of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. From ancient times they
are considered
as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an advocate" or simply "advocates"?
an advocates
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
also
supportive person in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Yet
the salary of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
may not be much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. From one hand I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
husbands and
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the financial condition of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Actually, they have not much time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, since they should bring up their children, do the housework and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
consider responsible themselves in these works.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the other hand I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, despite their
Possible spelling mistake found.
famillies
'' financial condition. After having a baby they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health, beauty and figure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
prefer to sit at home and bring up their children, go to beauty saloons, fitness and entertaining parties. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
are breadwinners,
that is
why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
support them with financial ways. They prefer to go shopping and
Did you mean "by"?
buy
fascinating things.
However
, in my country a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
do not want their wives working, they consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are sit at home doing housework. As they are jealous.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
like
Did you mean "these"?
this
situations. In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
is a head and wife is a neck,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
head can not turn and look around without a neck. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
without disagreements.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
that case they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay A lot of women prefer to stay at home without working, they prefer only their husband to work because men are bread winners of the family.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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