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A lot of people have become dependent on technology as it plays a big role in our daily lives. Do you agree that living in computer age has more advantages than disadvantages

In recent years, we noticed the revolution of technology. Year by year people became more dependent on technology in their daily routine. Of course, this has advantages and disadvantages, this essay will discuss both of these sides. First of all, in terms of advantages of the technology, is that it made our life much easier. The main reason given to support this claim is that we can shop, order from restaurants online. To illustrate, elderly people cannot go out every time so, technology helped them, they can order whatever they want by some applications. Moreover, technology helped to improve the health sector and made the operations much safer. For instance based on my own experience, my dad has a tumor on his spine, in traditional surgeries it's hard to remove it but, in the modern inventions the tumor can be removed by a leaser and its safer. However, unfortunately technology has disadvantages that impact on our life badly. With the revolution of technology, a new term of crime has appeared, it is called cybercrime. In other words, in the past few years we noticed many crimes related to technology as stealing money from ATM cards that people use to pay online, hacking websites and stalking others. In conclusion, although technology can play a good role in our life it also has a bad impact. Therefore, I believe that with the careful use of technology we can avoid the problems associated with it and we can only see the good side.
In recent years, we noticed the revolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
became more dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in their daily routine.
Of course
, this has advantages and disadvantages, this essay will discuss both of these sides.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, in terms of advantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, is that it made our life much easier. The main reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to support this claim is that we can shop, order from restaurants online. To illustrate, elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot go out every time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them, they can order whatever they want by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
applications.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the health sector and made the operations much safer.
For instance
based on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, my dad has a tumor on his spine, in traditional surgeries it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to remove it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, in the modern inventions the tumor can
be removed
by a leaser and
Did you mean “it’s” (short for ‘it is’) instead of ‘its’ (possessive pronoun)?
its
safer.

However
, unfortunately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has disadvantages that impact on our life
badly
. With the revolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, a new term of crime has appeared, it
is called
cybercrime.
In other words
, in the past few years we noticed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crimes related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as stealing money from ATM cards that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to pay online, hacking websites and stalking others.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can play a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
role in our life it
also
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact.
Therefore
, I believe that with the careful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
we can avoid the problems associated with
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side.
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IELTS essay A lot of people have become dependent on technology as it plays a big role in our daily lives. Do you agree that living in computer age has more advantages than disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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