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a lot of people believe money is more important than time, discuess both views.

a lot of people believe money is more important than time, discuess both views. L3OmG
One of the main hot topics that people cannot agree upon is whether having more money but less time is better than having less money but more time for yourself. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view and explain why I believe that having more money is not worth sacrificing your time. Despite being an important aspect of life, many people value money more than time. One of the main reasons is that money is believed to bring happiness and joy to life and that being poor reduces the quality of life. Many think that time is not worth it, and without money, there is not much to do if you do not have the resources for fun activities. Being wealthy is more likely to make many luxurious activities available, such as traveling or buying sports cars. On the other hand, a significant proportion of people believe that there is no point in having too much money without finding the time to spend it. Another reason why people believe so is that in order to make you have to stress yourself with a high demanding job that will likely affect your health and does not allow for free time. Also, families of wealthy individuals suffer from the quality of family time due to the busy schedule of their parents. In conclusion, I believe that both arguments have their merits, however, money is not as valuable as time because money is replaceable while time is not.
One of the main hot topics that
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people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
upon is whether
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having
more
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money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
less
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time
is better than
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having
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for yourself. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view and
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explain
why I
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believe
that
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having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not worth sacrificing your time.

Despite being an
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important
aspect of life,
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many
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people
value
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money
more than
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time
. One of the main reasons is that
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money
is believed
to bring happiness and joy to life and that being poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the quality of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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time
is not worth it, and without
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money
, there is not much to do if you do not have the resources for fun activities. Being wealthy is more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
luxurious activities available, such as traveling or buying sports cars.

On the other hand
, a significant proportion of
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people
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believe
that there is no point in
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having
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without finding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend it. Another reason why
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people
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believe
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so
is that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
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have to
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stress
yourself with a high demanding job that will likely affect your health and does not
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allow
for free
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time
.
Also
, families of wealthy individuals suffer from the quality of family
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time
due to the busy schedule of their parents.

In conclusion
, I
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believe
that both arguments have their merits,
however
,
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money
is not as valuable as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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money
is replaceable while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is not.
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IELTS essay a lot of people believe money is more important than time, discuess both views.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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