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A lot of parents do not spent much time with their children why is this case? Who does it affect more, parents or children

A lot of parents do not spent much time with their children why is this case? Who does it affect more, parents or children l7DXD
Nowadays, parents have not enough time for their children. This essay will discuss reason of parents are not good attention on their children. I faith that children have most affect then parents. This essay discuss further details. These days is it mendotry to both the parents should work. At present, the household items prices skyrocket, therefore it is necessary to work both parents for financial benefits. Sometime parents like to live luxurious life so they can work hard on their work for achieve it. Most of parents like to give their children best life and great higher education in their future so they can buy all the things and basic schooling requirement equipments. Moreover, some parents are compare their life with their relatives and their neighbours for reach their level and shows off their are one of them. This shift in the role of parents recently, have detrimental effect on children more than parents. Major effect on children behaviour because of they are spend plenty of time at home alone or with mad, so they can not socialise. Moreover, children more likely to Play with gudgets rather than friends or with family so they can not physically healthy or mentally healthy because of they exhausted at home and they only spent time with gudgets. To sum up, I believe that both the parents should balance their working and professional life and give the attention on their children and more time spend with children so they can develop their social skills.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will discuss reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attention on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'I'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
I faith
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have most affect then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
The verb 'discuss' is plural. Did you mean: "This essay discusses"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This essay discuss
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

These days
You should probably use: "are".
is
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
mendotry
to both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. At present, the household items prices skyrocket,
therefore
it is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for financial benefits. Sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for achieve it. Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
like to give their
A determiner is probably missing here: "children the best".
children best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and great higher education in their future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all the things and basic schooling requirement equipments.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are compare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with their relatives and their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
for reach their level and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
off
Did you mean "there"?
their
are one of them.

This shift in the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
recently, have detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Major effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
are
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home alone or with mad,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can not
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more likely to Play with
Possible spelling mistake found.
gudgets
rather
than friends or with family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can not
physically
healthy or mentally healthy
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
exhausted at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
home and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
gudgets
.

To sum up, I believe that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should balance their working and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and give the attention on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spend with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can develop their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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IELTS essay A lot of parents do not spent much time with their children why is this case? Who does it affect more, parents or children

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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