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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

It is often argued by one section society is that animals have the same rights as humans in the world so they should not be killed by humans. Other section believes that animals can be exploited and used for human purpose. Although many people became vulnerable to animals, I agree with the view that animals should be protected and treated as equal as humans. Killing of animals should not be tolerated for various reasons. The strongest argument is that we have no right to kill animals. The bio-diversity keeps world intact and every species have right to live. The animals in fact keeps the world equilibrium and keeps ecosystem undamaged. For examples, intense exploitation in particular area leaves no time for fish to reproduce. Thus, living animals and other species should not be exploited. However, other people think that animals should be used for our daily needs such as food and research. Firstly, consuming animals meat became part of our lives and one can't survive with out depending on other species. For example, a study indicated that 70% percent of the world population are non vegetarians and they consume meat at least once in weak. Also, in order to perform the investigations on the various diseases and to find vaccines to prevent them, exploitation of animals is necessary. For example, It is well known that corona virus is initially transferred from animals to humans so if scientists wants to find the medicine to prevent the spreading of virus, they must exploit some animals and do the research. That's why, exploitation of animals is necessary to safeguard the human lives. To sum up, although animal exploitation is unavoidable for some reasons, I think animals lives matter to keep the ecosystem balanced so animal exploitation should be avoided as much as we can.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by one section society is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have the same rights as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should not
be killed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
section believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
be exploited
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
purpose. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
became vulnerable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be protected
and treated as equal as humans.

Killing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be tolerated
for various reasons. The strongest argument is that we have no right to kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. The bio-diversity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
intact and every species have right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in fact
You should probably use “keep”.
keeps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
equilibrium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keeps
ecosystem undamaged. For examples, intense exploitation
in particular
area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
no time for fish to reproduce.
Thus
, living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species should not
be exploited
.

However
,
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other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for our daily needs such as food and research.
Firstly
, consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
meat became part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and one can't survive
This word is usually written together. Did you mean “without”?
with out
depending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species.
For example
, a study indicated that 70% percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
population are non
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
vegetarians and
they consume meat at least once in weak.
Also
, in order to perform the investigations on the various diseases and to find vaccines to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them, exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is necessary.
For example
, It is well known that
The term “coronavirus” (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
is
initially
transferred from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if scientists wants to find the medicine to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the spreading of virus, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
exploit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and do the research. That's why, exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is necessary to safeguard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
exploitation is unavoidable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
matter to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
the ecosystem
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
balanced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
exploitation should
be avoided
as much as we can.
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IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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