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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. A22x
An increasing number of people argue that animals have similar rights to humans and should not be abused, while others say that animals are necessary for humans in meeting their nutritional and experimental needs, amongst several others. This essay agrees that animals play a vital role in groundbreaking medical and food discoveries by man; however, ample evidence proves researchers treat most of these animals poorly while in captivity. Scientists have dramatically advanced their knowledge of human nutrition, health, and disease by studying animals. This is because experiments performed on animal models have improved their understanding of human biology and physiology. Researchers now have a better understanding of the causes of nutritional imbalance and human fatalities, all thanks to animal models available for several trials and testing. For example, it is a well-known fact that the discovery of amino acids as an important constituent of the baby formula was made possible through mice's study. Again, over 85% of childhood vaccines had to be tested on animal models before certified fit for human use. These vaccines have reduced infant mortality occurrence to barely 2% worldwide. On the other hand, humans have been seen to take undue advantage of animals to meet their needs. Animals in confinement are badly treated and sometimes made to undergo invasive procedures deemed inhumane. For instance, several guinea pigs were dissected in the most traumatizing manner when scientists searched for muscle atrophy process reversal treatment. In conclusion, the use of animals in research is essential for researchers to develop new drugs. In fact, legally, all drugs have to be tested on animals for safety before being used in humans. In the same vein, researchers working with animals are now under strict obligations to carry out their experiments with extreme care to eliminate or minimize suffering.
An increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have similar rights to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and should not
be abused
, while others say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in meeting their nutritional and experimental needs, amongst several others. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
play a vital role in groundbreaking medical and food discoveries by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
;
however
, ample evidence proves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
treat most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
poorly
while in captivity.

Scientists have
dramatically
advanced their knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
nutrition, health, and disease by studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
experiments performed on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
models have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
biology and physiology.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Researchers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have a better understanding of the causes of nutritional imbalance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
fatalities, all thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
models available for several trials and testing.
For example
,
it is a well-known fact that
the discovery of amino acids as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
constituent of the baby formula
was made
possible through mice's study. Again, over 85% of childhood vaccines had to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
models
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
certified fit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. These vaccines have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
infant mortality occurrence to
barely
2% worldwide.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to take undue advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
in confinement are
badly
treated and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
made to undergo invasive procedures deemed inhumane.
For instance
, several guinea pigs
were dissected
in the most traumatizing manner when scientists searched for muscle atrophy process reversal treatment.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in research is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
to develop new drugs. In fact,
legally
, all drugs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for safety
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the same vein,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
working with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
under strict obligations to carry out their experiments with extreme care to eliminate or minimize suffering.
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IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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