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Do you agree or disagree with this following statement? A four-day workweek benefits than a five-day workweek.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

A four-day workweek benefits than a five-day workweek. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. OVE83
Nobody can deny the fact and the truth that working plays a vitally important role in every person's life, and it is considered quite critical and crucial. Moreover, it is reality a worldwide known that working formulates the lifespan of all human beings. Based on all the conducted statistics, research, and studies, one may state that a four-day workweek is more benefits than five-day. Actually, I disagree with this statement for so many varied and different reasons. First, a five-day workweek is more valuable for companies. Many factories will spend much more money if they decide to offer a four-day workweek for their employees. my own experience is a compelling example of this. Three years ago, when I was a financial manager, our company offers an option for their employees working a four-day with 80 percent pay or working overtime. After one year, heading out of all my own data, the company cost much more money for choosing the shortened workweek because we were forced to hire more employees. Secondly, a regular workweek is more useful for employees. Even though the shortened workweek will improve the quality of employees' lives by spending the extra time with their families, the free time generated by reduced work hours presents a lot of risks for the quality worker's life such as reduction of job stability. Furthermore, it can lose the opportunity of promotion of management positions. Finally, a four-day workweek is not important for society. In spite of a shortened workweek may reduce the unemployment rate, many companies will force offering overtime work than hiring more employees because they need to pay much more money for training the new employees, for buying more computers and finding more office space. As I mentioned above, when I was a financial manager, is a compelling example of this. Heading out of all the previously mentioned discussion, I can sum up and conclude that the five-day workweek takes a priority over the four-day workweek due to the fact that it is valuable for companies and because it is useful for people as well as for society.
Nobody can deny the fact and the truth that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
plays a
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in every person's life, and it
is considered
quite critical and crucial.
Moreover
, it is reality a worldwide known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
formulates the lifespan of all human beings. Based on all the conducted statistics, research, and studies, one may state that a four-day workweek is more benefits than five-day. Actually, I disagree with this statement for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
varied and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons.

First
, a five-day workweek is more valuable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
factories will spend much more money if they decide to offer a four-day workweek for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is a compelling example of this. Three years ago, when I was a financial manager, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
offers an option for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
a four-day with 80 percent pay or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
overtime. After one year, heading out of all my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
data, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
cost much more money for choosing the shortened workweek
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
were forced
to hire more employees.

Secondly
, a regular workweek is more useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
Even though
the shortened workweek will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of employees'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by spending the extra time with their families, the free time generated by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
work hours presents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for the quality worker's life such as reduction of job stability.
Furthermore
, it can lose the opportunity of promotion of management positions.

Finally
, a four-day workweek is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
a shortened workweek may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment rate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will force offering overtime work than hiring more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need to pay much more money for training the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, for buying more computers and finding more office space. As I mentioned above, when I was a financial manager, is a compelling example of this.

Heading out of all the previously mentioned discussion, I can sum up and conclude that the five-day workweek takes a priority over the four-day workweek due to the fact that it is valuable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is useful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as well
as for society.
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IELTS essay A four-day workweek benefits than a five-day workweek. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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