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A few individuals believe that schools should focus on making students more competitive, whereas others assert that cooperation and teamwork are vital for students and must be given priority. I intend to mention both the views along with my opinion in the following paragraphs.

A few individuals believe that schools should focus on making students more competitive, whereas others assert that cooperation and teamwork are vital for students and must be given priority. I intend to mention both the views along with my opinion in the following paragraphs. 0Arb1
A few individuals believe that schools should focus on making students more competitive, whereas others assert that cooperation and teamwork are vital for students and must be given priority. I intend to mention both the views along with my opinion in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, those who favour former notion opine that students need to have competitive thinking owing to the extensive competition in the education sector and professional life. To explain, in order to take admission in a top-notch institute for tertiary education, a student must be trained enough to compete in its entrance examination. Apart from this, while taking a job in any prestigious organisation, one has to be in the top positions in the merit list. For example, in 2018, according to data given by staff selection board of India, the ratio of government posts to the number of applicants was 1 ratio 500, which indicated huge competition for a single post. Thus, these kinds of requirements often entice guardians to give priority to the teaching of being competitive in schools. On the other hand, proponents of the latter idea assert that other aspects of education such as teamwork and cooperation are vital for the torch bearers in future. To elaborate, most of the organisation prefer candidates who can perform well in a team and coordinate among colleagues efficiently. It is primarily due to the fact that most of the task in the company requires joint efforts of the team to complete it successfully. Owing to the above said reason, these skills are a primary requirement of the organisations. For example, Multinational companies, while hiring students from universities, often include group discussions and group task so that they can judge the ability of the candidates to work in a team. Therefore, it can be envisioned that it is imperative to teach such skills in school. In my perspective, the teaching of coordination and teamwork skills is vital for the pupil as these skills also develop them socially. To substantiate, when a student interacts with fellow students, it helps to make more friends in the school which is important for the development of a society. This non-trivial aspect is not taken care of while teaching students to remain competitive. To illustrate, it is generally seen that in order to study more and remain competitive, pupils remain disconnected from other students, which make them socially underdeveloped and, thus, face problems in the later phase of their life. To encapsulate, even though the competition is required for cracking competitive exams, still, I believe the teaching of cooperation and teamwork is more conducive for the holistic development of a student.
A few individuals believe that schools should focus on making
students
more
competitive
, whereas others assert that cooperation and
teamwork
are vital for
students
and
must
be
given
priority. I intend to mention both the views along with my opinion in the following paragraphs.

On the one hand, those who
favour
former notion opine that
students
need to have
competitive
thinking owing to the extensive competition in the education sector and professional life. To
explain
, in order to take admission in a top-notch institute for tertiary education, a
student
must
be trained
enough
to compete in its entrance examination. Apart from this, while taking a job in any prestigious
organisation
, one
has to
be in the top positions in the merit list.
For example
, in 2018, according to data
given
by staff selection board of India, the ratio of
government
posts to the number of applicants was 1 ratio 500, which indicated huge competition for a single post.
Thus
, these kinds of requirements
often
entice guardians to give priority to the
teaching
of being
competitive
in schools.

On the
other
hand, proponents of the latter
idea
assert that
other
aspects of education such as
teamwork
and cooperation are vital for the
torch bearers
in future
. To elaborate, most of the
organisation
prefer candidates who can perform well in a team and coordinate among colleagues
efficiently
. It is
primarily
due to the fact that most of the task in the
company
requires joint efforts of the team to complete it
successfully
. Owing to the above said reason, these
skills
are a primary requirement of the
organisations
.
For example
, Multinational
companies
, while hiring
students
from universities,
often
include group discussions and group task
so
that they can judge the ability of the candidates to work in a team.
Therefore
, it can
be envisioned
that it is imperative to teach such
skills
in school.

In my perspective, the
teaching
of coordination and
teamwork
skills
is vital for the pupil as these
skills
also
develop them
socially
. To substantiate, when a
student
interacts with fellow
students
, it
helps
to
make
more friends in the school which is
important
for the development of a society. This non-trivial aspect is not taken care of while
teaching
students
to remain
competitive
. To illustrate, it is
generally
seen
that in order to study more and remain
competitive
, pupils remain disconnected from
other
students
, which
make
them
socially
underdeveloped and,
thus
, face problems in the later phase of their life.

To encapsulate,
even though
the competition
is required
for cracking
competitive
exams,
still
, I believe the
teaching
of cooperation and
teamwork
is more conducive for the holistic development of a
student
.
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IELTS essay A few individuals believe that schools should focus on making students more competitive, whereas others assert that cooperation and teamwork are vital for students and must be given priority. I intend to mention both the views along with my opinion in the following paragraphs.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
442 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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