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A company announced that it is willing to construct a massive factory near our community.Discuss advantages and disadvantages and your opinion

A company announced that it is willing to construct a massive factory near our community. Discuss advantages and disadvantages and your opinion 8gKpm
A company announced that it is willing to construct a massive factory near our community. There are many disadvantages when compared to advantages when a factory is constructed near our residence. I definitely oppose the construction of factory near the family premises because of the hazardous effect it creates on ones health and I suggest factories should be constructed in the outskirts of the city. Factory is a place where goods are manufactured or the spare parts are assembled together to get the final result. This involves a lot of machinery and manpower. Almost all the items which we use regularly are manufactured in one of the industries. Thus we are dependant on industries indiectly to smoothen our daily activities without any havoc. A factory can reduce the number of unemployed people in the society by providing an opportunity to work, thereby reducing the number of people below poverty line. It will provide great transport facilities to the community in order to commute people to and fro the city and factory. Along with that the community will become well known by many people. These are few of the advantages which people will if have factory in our community. Factories cause lot of pollution to public and to the environment, some of them are noise pollution, water pollution, dust pollution etc. , Generally any factory will have some form of waste, which will be dumped in dumpyards. The toxic chemicals released from the factory and these dumpyards cause severe health issues to people nearby. Constructing a factory involves a lot of noise which cause disturbances to the people living around. The safety of the children is also at risk, if factories are constructed near the residential areas as they dig deep holes and water will be contaminated. One of my friends purchased a flat unknowing that there is a cloth factory nearby. They thought they will live happily in the new flat with their children. But unfortunately, the children are effected with shortness in breaths and got hospitalised. At the end, they realised that the pungent smell from the factory is the culprit. As the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, I think it is better to construct the factories far away from residential areas. Otherwise peoples health will be at risk.
A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
announced that it is willing to construct a massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
our community. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages when compared to advantages when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
is constructed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
our residence. I definitely oppose the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
the family premises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the hazardous effect it creates on ones health and I suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
should
be constructed
in the outskirts of the city.

Factory is a place where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are manufactured
or the spare parts
are assembled
together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the final result. This involves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
machinery and manpower. Almost all the items which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
regularly
are manufactured
in one of the industries.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
we are
Did you mean "dependent" on?
dependant
on industries
Possible spelling mistake found.
indiectly
to smoothen our daily activities without any havoc.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society by providing an opportunity to work, thereby reducing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
below poverty line. It will provide great transport facilities to the community in order to commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to and fro the city and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
. Along with that the community will become well known by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. These are few of the advantages which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will if have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
in our community.

Factories cause
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
to public and to the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, dust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
Generally
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
form of waste, which will
be dumped
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
dumpyards
. The toxic chemicals released from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
and these
Possible spelling mistake found.
dumpyards
cause severe health issues to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nearby. Constructing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
involves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
noise which cause disturbances to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living around. The safety of the children is
also
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
are constructed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
the residential areas as they dig deep holes and water will
be contaminated
. One of my friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a flat unknowing that there is a cloth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
nearby. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
in the new flat with their children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
unfortunately, the children
are effected
with shortness in breaths and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalised' is British English.
hospitalised
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, they
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
that the pungent smell from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
is the culprit.

As the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better to construct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
far away from residential areas.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
health will be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
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IELTS essay A company announced that it is willing to construct a massive factory near our community. Discuss advantages and disadvantages and your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
379 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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