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2. Do you agree that studying abroad brings many benefits

Tourism can create lots of different types of jobs. This is because they involve providing a service to other people, particularly in rural areas and developing countries. Moreover, it provides modern facilities that can help the tourist more comfortable when they travel. However, there are some drawbacks of this. New areas of land need to be cleared for new hotels and roads, meanwhile animals lose their natural habitat and have to move to a new location. A number of vehicles, higher levels of noise, deforestation and pollution disturb the ecological balance are increased significantly in every tourist attraction.

Tourism can create lots of This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:various
different
 types of jobs. This is This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 they involve providing a service to other This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
, particularly
 in rural areas and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :Third World countrieslow-income countries
developing countries
. Moreover
, it provides modern facilities that can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 the tourist more comfortable when they travel.

However
, there are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 drawbacks of this. New areas of land need to be cleared
 for new hotels and roads, meanwhile animals lose their natural habitat and This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ought to
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :relocate
move
 to a new location. A number of vehicles, higher levels of noise, deforestation and pollution disturb the ecological balance are increased
significantly
 in every tourist attraction. 

IELTS essay 2. Do you agree that studying abroad brings many benefits

Essay

American English

2 paragraphs

98 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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