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2. A difficult decision I had to make

2. A difficult decision I had to make 9BB3W
Throughout our lives, we constantly make decisions. I was also faced with many difficult decisions. One of the hardest choices I have ever made was which university I would attend to pursue my dream and further explore the world It was when I was filling up the application form for the university entrance exam that I had to make an important but difficult decision. I was in a dilemma because I had too many thoughts coming into my mind. At that time, I was at a crossroads, where I had to decide which university to apply to. . At that time, I was almost on my own to decide on this matter. My parents, unlike most Vietnamese parents, wanted me to make my own decision, and they let me decide what I truly wanted to pursue, so they didn’t give me their opinions or advice. It was really a tough time for me. it was the decision of the choice of stream of study after completing 12th class. Actually, my interest was in pedagogical industry, but I don’t know which school is right for me. Fortunately, I had my teacher who almost always had acted as my “savior” in the past, and this time was no exception, gave me some advice. Having weighed up the pros and cons of each school, she encouraged me to choose the university specializing in international trade. Finally, I applied for this school after thinking carefully about all the options. At present, I feel so satisfied with the learning environment of this university. I am always thankful for my decision as well as my teacher’s advice. Without her guidance, I probably wouldn’t be as content with my university life In short, no matter how difficult, you still have to make decision for your own life. Always believe in yourself and take responsibility for those decisions. Do not let hesitation make you lose your chances
Throughout our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, we
constantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. I was
also
faced with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. One of the hardest choices I have ever made was which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
I would attend to pursue my dream and
further
explore the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
world


It was when I was filling up the application form for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
entrance exam that I had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. I was in a dilemma
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I had too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
thoughts coming into my mind. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I was at a crossroads, where I had to decide which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to apply to.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I was almost on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
to decide on this matter. My parents, unlike most Vietnamese parents, wanted me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me decide what I
truly
wanted to pursue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they didn’t give me their opinions or advice. It was
really
a tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for me. it was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
of the choice of stream of study after completing 12th
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. Actually, my interest was in pedagogical industry,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I don’t know which school is right for me.
Fortunately
, I had my teacher who almost always had acted as my “savior” in the past, and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
was no exception, gave me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice. Having weighed up the pros and cons of each school, she encouraged me to choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
specializing in international trade.
Finally
, I
You can apply for a job or welfare, but you apply to a school. Revise: "applied to this school".
applied for this school
after thinking
carefully
about all the options. At present, I feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
satisfied with the learning environment of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. I am always thankful for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
as well
as my teacher’s advice. Without her guidance, I
probably
wouldn’t be as content with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
life

In short, no matter how difficult, you
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
for your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life. Always believe in yourself and take responsibility for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. Do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
hesitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you lose your
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
chances
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IELTS essay 2. A difficult decision I had to make

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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