Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

writing task 1- money and club members

writing task 1- money and club members 536LA
The graph gives information about the amount of money that gives from book clubs to city council and also illustrates how many book club members there were in the city over four years period. First two years, the amount of money showed a steady increase which reached at £17, 500 before climbing steeply to peak level at £40, 000. Followed by that, it fell significantly to £35, 000 when club members rose. In terms of the number of book club members, it decreased steadily in the year 1 and 2. In the following year, club members went up sharply from £12, 500 to £25, 000. In the year 4, number of members continued to growth which reached at peak level (£30, 000). Overall, according to these two data, they did not exactly affect each other. Over the same period, there was fluctuation both of them and generally, they had an upward trend even though the drop in the amount of money given in the final year and in the number of club members at the start.
The graph gives information about the amount of money that gives from book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
to city council and
also
illustrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
there were in the city over four years period.

First
two years, the amount of money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a steady increase which reached at £17, 500
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
climbing
steeply
to peak level at £40, 000. Followed by that, it fell
significantly
to £35, 000 when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
rose.

In terms of the number of book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, it decreased
steadily
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1 and 2. In the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
went up
sharply
from £12, 500 to £25, 000.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
4, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
continued to growth which reached at peak level (£30, 000).

Overall
, according to these two data, they did not exactly affect each other. Over the same period, there was fluctuation both of them and
generally
, they had an upward trend
even though
the drop in the amount of money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic writing task 1- money and club members

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    workforce in a city, finance, technology and retail
    The graph illustrates the amount of the workforce that are employed in four industries (in percent) in a city in the period of 30 years. (from 1980 to 2010) Overall, workforce of the parts finance, technology and retail had a increase trend while for finance workforce had seen a reduce trend. In 19...
  • 5.5band
    Make comparisons where it is needed
    The first two charts demonstrate the number of kilometres that a person travels by car and by alternative transport per year in some European countries. The last chart illustrates the amount of time that a person spends travelling per day in the same countries. From the information, we can see that...
  • 5.5band
    the bar graph show that Desitination of holyday markers from Indonesia in five countries.
    The provided chart compares the numbers of leading places of tourisme in five different nation. namely as Australia, Scotland, pakistan, Japan and Korea. Overall, The figure of destination of holiday makers are more in Scotland and it less sightsers in Pakistan. As can be seen, Scotland stood at f...
  • 5.5band
    percentage of coffee and tea buying habit in cities of Australia.
    The graph illustrates the percentage of coffee and tea buying and drinking practices in five cities in Australia (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Hobart) in the past month. Overall, it can be seen that the residents preferred going to the cafe for these beverages. The most significant featur...
  • 6band
    The given table shows the amount of money a single person or a couple in Australia need for lifestyle comfortably after retiring.
    The given table shows the amount of money a single person or a couple in Australia need for lifestyle comfortably after retiring. It is clear that the expenditure of a retired couple is higher than the figure for a retired single person. The average of money a retired single person spending on hous...
  • 6.5band
    The given picture show the information how to produced ethanol from the corn.
    The given flow chart depicts the information of making ethanol fuel from corn. Overall, it is crystal and clear from the diagram that the process is finished in nine steps. Initially, the corn is stored in mills and then it is used for cooking for four hours by using water. After that, it is ferme...