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the bar graph show that Desitination of holyday markers from Indonesia in five countries .

the bar graph show that Desitination of holyday markers from Indonesia in five countries. WmyN5
The provided chart compares the numbers of leading places of tourisme in five different nation. namely as Australia, Scotland, pakistan, Japan and Korea. Overall, The figure of destination of holiday makers are more in Scotland and it less sightsers in Pakistan. As can be seen, Scotland stood at first position with 1000000 tourists. It was follow by Japan with 8000000 sightsers. Australia rank third with approximate7000000. The figure of terminus of landing places are minimum in Pakistan. Glancing ahead, In Pakistan the statistics of destination of excursionist is half than that of Korea. In Srilanka the figure of a leading places of touristis with almost 4000000. It is follow by Korea with 6000000 touristis.
The provided chart compares the numbers of leading places of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tourisme
in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible agreement error. The noun 'nation' seems to be countable, so consider using: "nations".
nation
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
namely
as Australia, Scotland,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pakistan
, Japan and Korea.

Overall
, The figure of destination of holiday makers are more in Scotland and it less
Possible spelling mistake found.
sightsers
in Pakistan.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, Scotland stood at
first
position with 1000000 tourists. It was
Consider using a past participle here: "followed".
follow
by Japan with 8000000
Possible spelling mistake found.
sightsers
.
The genitive is possibly missing.
Australia rank
third with approximate7000000. The figure of terminus of landing places are minimum in Pakistan.

Glancing ahead, In Pakistan the statistics of destination of excursionist is half than that of Korea. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
Srilanka
the figure of a leading places of
Possible spelling mistake found.
touristis
with almost 4000000. It is
Consider using a past participle here: "followed".
follow
by Korea with 6000000
Possible spelling mistake found.
touristis
.
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IELTS academic the bar graph show that Desitination of holyday markers from Indonesia in five countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
114 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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