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writing task 1 bar chart compares the proportion of people

writing task 1 bar chart compares the proportion of people rGd6N
The bar chart compares the proportion of people who answered the survey asking them about their habits of buying and drinking coffee and tea in their last four weeks by five different cities in Australia. In general, the highest percentages of customers were for coffee and tea bought in coffee stores, followed by instant coffee and then fresh coffee. It can be seen from the chart, the highest proportions of tea and coffee buyers in the shop were in Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart, which all recorded a little over 60%. This was followed by just over 55% in Brisbane, and then approximately 50%. Brisbane and Hobart had the highest proportions at under 55% of purchasers bought instant coffee. The lowest ratio in this category were Sydney and Melbourne, just over 45%, whereas those cities accounted for the highest proportion in fresh coffee, both around 43%. Hobart followed with about 40%, and Brisbane and Adelaide had the lowest at approximately 35%.
The bar chart compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who answered the survey asking them about their habits of buying and drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and tea in their last four weeks by five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cities in Australia.

In general
, the highest percentages of customers were for
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coffee
and tea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
in
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coffee
stores, followed by instant
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coffee
and then fresh coffee.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, the highest proportions of tea and
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coffee
buyers in the shop were in Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart, which all recorded a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
over 60%. This
was followed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 55% in Brisbane, and then approximately 50%.

Brisbane and Hobart had the highest proportions at under 55% of purchasers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
. The lowest ratio in this category were Sydney and Melbourne,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 45%, whereas those cities accounted for the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
in fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
, both around 43%. Hobart followed with about 40%, and Brisbane and Adelaide had the lowest at approximately 35%.

IELTS academic writing task 1 bar chart compares the proportion of people

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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