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different meat consumption is increasing in europe.

different meat consumption is increasing in europe. RyAnW
The data illustrates the amount of fish and various types of meat consumed in a European country (between 1974 and 2004). Overall, intake of fish remained almost same throughout these years. The eating of beef and lamb drastically declined, whereas, consumption of chicken rose dramatically. Consumption of fish remained the lower throughout the years and chicken became more popular and achieved the first place. A close scrutiny of the graph shows, the lamb intake was about 150grams per person in a week and that of beef was just above 200 during 1979. After a decade, consumption of both were reduced modestly and reached hundred grams and nearly 175 respectively. Consumption rate of lamb and beef was again steadily decreasing and levelled to just over 50 which was almost one third of the initial consumption, and that of beef to 125 respectively by the year 2004 the intake. In contrary, only chicken consumption rose consistently from the beginning. During the initial year it was around 150grams but after 15 years it reached above 200. The quantity further escalated and as ten more years passed, it hit nearly to 250grams. Chicken consumption was second place and 2004 it attained the first rank.
The data illustrates the amount of fish and various types of meat consumed in a European country (between 1974 and 2004).

Overall
, intake of fish remained almost same throughout these years. The eating of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
and lamb
drastically
declined, whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of chicken rose
dramatically
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Consumption
of fish remained the lower throughout the years and chicken became more popular and achieved the
first
place.

A
Consider using "scrutiny".
close scrutiny
of the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, the lamb intake was about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
150grams
per person in a week and that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 200 during 1979. After a decade,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of both were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
modestly
and reached
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
and
nearly
175
respectively
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Consumption
rate of lamb and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
was again
steadily
decreasing and levelled to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 50 which was almost one third of the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
, and that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
to 125
respectively
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2004 the intake.

In contrary,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
chicken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
rose
consistently
from the beginning. During the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
it was around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
150grams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after 15 years it reached above 200. The quantity
further
escalated and as ten more years passed, it hit
nearly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
250grams
. Chicken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
was second place and 2004 it attained the
first
rank.
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IELTS academic different meat consumption is increasing in europe.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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