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writing part 1 bar chart rửegggdfv

writing part 1 bar chart rửegggdfv GJKbm
The provided bar chart above depicts the leisure activities that Canadian children enjoy doing such as sports, computer games, music and shopping. Overall, boys are fond of going shopping the most while girls prefer listening to music rather than doing other activities in their free time. The percentages of boys playing sport were nearly 25%, twice as many compared to that of boys listening to music. Moreover, the rates of boys playing computer games and shopping in their spare time are roughly 17% and 34%, respectively
The provided bar chart above depicts the leisure activities that Canadian children enjoy doing such as sports, computer games, music and shopping.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
are fond of going shopping the most while girls prefer listening to music
rather
than doing other activities in their free time.

The percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
playing sport were
nearly
25%, twice as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
compared to that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
listening to music.
Moreover
, the rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
playing computer games and shopping in their spare time are roughly 17% and 34%,
respectively
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IELTS academic writing part 1 bar chart rửegggdfv

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
85 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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