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Write a short story happend in 2022 in New york and expline

Write a short story happend in 2022 in New york and expline yLXAJ
Once upon a time, in 2022, a golden envelope was delivered anonymously to Snape’s house, one that includes an invitation to the Great Shelter in New-York. It was sealed by a special type of golden wax! He felt weird, then happy. He rushed to the bus and asked him about that invitation. He answered him with an eager tone that it is true, that he’s got accepted in the most wanted places in life, but the view of decisiveness was obvious to Mr. Snape. Then he went back and thought about it. ‘Why me’, he thought! Then suddenly, an old man appeared out of nowhere. A giant one with a white, long beard. “You could tell many spectacular stories when just looking at his face”, said Mr. Snape. He saw him bouncing his leg nervously: looking for the lovely moment to arrive. ‘I had built dreams, big ones, ’ he thought. ‘ Then he showed up with dreadful news, about the letter he received earlier. But it belonged to those thieves that lived by robbing others and murdered them afterwards. He sat silently for hours after hearing the old man’s talk; he was not even listening, but the fact that his dream has been demolished is bloody disappointing. But the fact that he was rescued by an old man was more sufficient to let him somewhat calm! “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, only if remembered how to turn on the light”, Albus Dumbledore.
Once upon a time, in 2022, a golden envelope
was delivered
anonymously
to
Snape
’s
house
, one that includes an invitation to the Great Shelter in New-York. It
was sealed
by a special type of golden wax! He felt weird, then happy.

He rushed to the bus and asked him about that invitation.
He
answered him with an eager tone that it is true, that he’s
got
accepted
in the most wanted places in life,
but
the view of decisiveness was obvious to Mr.
Snape
. Then he went back and
thought
about it. ‘Why me’, he
thought
! Then
suddenly
, an
old
man
appeared out of nowhere. A giant one with a white, long beard. “You could
tell
many
spectacular stories when
just
looking at his face”, said Mr.
Snape
. He
saw
him bouncing his leg
nervously
: looking for the lovely moment to arrive. ‘I had built dreams,
big
ones,
he
thought
. ‘

Then he
showed
up with dreadful news, about the letter he received earlier.
But
it belonged to those thieves that
lived
by robbing others and murdered them afterwards. He sat
silently
for hours after hearing the
old
man
’s talk; he was not even listening,
but
the fact that his dream has
been demolished
is bloody disappointing.
But
the fact that he
was rescued
by an
old
man
was more sufficient to
let
him somewhat calm! “Happiness can
be found
even in the darkest of times,
only
if remembered how to turn on the light”,
Albus
Dumbledore.
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IELTS academic Write a short story happend in 2022 in New york and expline

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
248 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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