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The line graph gives information on changes in how much money which book clubs received from a city council during a four-year period.

The line graph gives information on changes in how much money which book clubs received from a city council during a four-year period. WgyO0
The line graph gives information on changes in how much money which book clubs received from a city council during a four-year period. It also illustrates how many people were engaged in the club during the same period. Overall, there was an upward trend in the numbers though less money was donated by city council in last year. It is also noticeable that there was no correlation between the number of book club members and the quantity of money given by the city council. As can be seen from the line graph, in the first two years, there was a slight rise in the amount given by the city council, increasing gradually from 20, 000 pound to 25, 000 pound. Following this, that figure shot up and hit a peak of 40, 000 pound in the third year. The amount of money given by the city council witnessed a sharp fall from 40, 000 pound to 35, 000 pound in the last year of the period On the flip side, in the first two year, the quantity of book club members dropped significantly, with the number decreasing gradually from 6000 people to 5000 people. Subsequently, the income of the members rose steeply to 10000 people in the next year. In the fifth year, the number of book club members continued to grow gradually instead of quadrupling like the previous year.
The line graph gives information on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in how much
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money
which
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book
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clubs
received from a city council during a four-year period. It
also
illustrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were engaged
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
during the same period.
Overall
, there was an upward trend in the
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numbers
though less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was donated
by city council in last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. It is
also
noticeable that there was no correlation between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the city council.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the line graph, in the
first
two years, there was a slight rise in the amount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the city council, increasing
gradually
from 20, 000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pound' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pounds".
pound
to 25, 000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pound' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pounds".
pound
. Following this, that figure shot up and hit a peak of 40, 000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pound' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pounds".
pound
in the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the city council witnessed a sharp fall from 40, 000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pound' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pounds".
pound
to 35, 000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pound' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pounds".
pound
in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
period


On the flip side, in the
first
two
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year
, the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
dropped
significantly
, with the
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number
decreasing
gradually
from 6000
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people
to 5000
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people
.
Subsequently
, the income of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
rose
steeply
to 10000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
next
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year
. In the fifth
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year
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
continued to grow
gradually
instead
of quadrupling like the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic The line graph gives information on changes in how much money which book clubs received from a city council during a four-year period.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
230 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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