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Write a report about participation of boys and girls

Write a report about participation of boys and girls jd7Np
This bar chart depicts how young people participated in some entertainment activities in Australia. Overall, it is clear from the graph that generally boys participated more than girls in the five different categeories. Boys from 5 to 14-year-olds joined skateboarding/ roller blading and bike riding more than girls by 10%. And their participation in electronic/ computer games reached 80 per cent while girls was only 60 per cent in this activity. However, in watching Tv/ videos catigeory, we can clearly see a remarkable rise in the number of both boys and girls. They equevellantaly achieve the highest percentage (100%). Surprisngly, boys decreased to be less than girls in art and craft with 40 per cent, and girls are about 55 per cent.
This bar chart depicts how young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
participated in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment activities in Australia.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that
generally
boys participated more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in the five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
categeories
.

Boys from 5 to 14-year-olds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
skateboarding/ roller
Possible spelling mistake found.
blading
and bike riding more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
by 10%. And their participation in electronic/ computer games reached 80 per cent while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
60 per cent in this activity.

However
, in watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
/ videos
Possible spelling mistake found.
catigeory
, we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a remarkable rise in the number of both boys and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. They
Possible spelling mistake found.
equevellantaly
achieve the highest percentage (100%).

Possible spelling mistake found.
Surprisngly
, boys decreased to be less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in art and craft with 40 per cent, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are about 55 per cent.
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IELTS academic Write a report about participation of boys and girls

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
122 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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