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Holding of electrical appliances

Holding of electrical appliances wKjbE
The line graph under represent the diminish in holding of electrical appliances and volume of time consumed doing housekeeping in households in one country from 1920 to 2019. As can be seen in the graph, The demand for refrigerators rose dramatically between nineteen hundred and twenty to two hundred and nineteen. Overall, The percentage of household illustration depicts that refrigerators have an upward trend. Also vacuum cleaners have a peak trend that is present in the figure. While washing machine appliances have fluctuated in a rising trend. The proportion of house machinery has grown year by year. From 1920 to 1940, Refrigerators, washing machines and vacuum cleaners interest increased by more than a half quarter. After 1940 till 1960, Refrigerators popularity soared by more then three quarters and vacuum cleaners had a slight improvement. Then between 1960 and 1980, Refrigerators and vacuum cleaners sustained lift. In 1980, Refrigerators gained a significant majority and vacuum cleaners achieved a very large proportion climb which continued till 2019. However, The washing machine, 1960 after had a palpitate trend. The amount of hours of housework per week has declined by 1920 to 2019. The picture of housework per hours statistics is shown by washing clothes, preparing meals and cleaning works. In 1920, The count of hours per week was half a quarter. But, In 1940 statistics of hours per week dropped by slightly more than a quarter. Between 1960 and 2019, The figure had a wave downward trend.
The line graph
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
under represent
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'diminish' is correct. If 'diminish' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the diminish
in holding of electrical appliances and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
volume
of time consumed doing housekeeping in households in one country from 1920 to 2019.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the graph, The demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refrigerators
rose
dramatically
between nineteen hundred and twenty to two hundred and nineteen.
Overall
, The percentage of household illustration depicts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refrigerators
have an upward trend.
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacuum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaners
have a peak trend
that is
present in the figure.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
washing machine appliances have fluctuated in a rising trend.

The proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
machinery has grown year by year. From 1920 to 1940,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Refrigerators
, washing machines and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacuum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaners
interest increased by more than a half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
. After 1940 till 1960,
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Refrigerators
popularity soared by more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarters
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacuum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaners
had a slight improvement. Then between 1960 and 1980,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Refrigerators
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacuum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaners
sustained lift. In 1980,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Refrigerators
gained a significant majority and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacuum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaners
achieved a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large proportion climb which continued till 2019.
However
, The washing machine, 1960 after had
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'palpitate' is correct. If 'palpitate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a palpitate
trend.

The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of housework per week has declined by 1920 to 2019. The picture of housework per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
statistics
is shown
by washing clothes, preparing meals and cleaning works. In 1920, The count of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week was half a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, In 1940 statistics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week dropped by
slightly
more than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
. Between 1960 and 2019, The figure had a wave downward trend.
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IELTS academic Holding of electrical appliances

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
244 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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