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Why do you think people spend too much money buying the latest devices?

Why do you think people spend too much money buying the latest devices? rGjQL
Nowadays, devices have become popular with everyone. Owning a device is quite normal if not some people have to spend a large amount of money to get the latest device. There are many reasons to explain this problem. Firstly, some new features will come with the new device, it will certainly come with a higher price, so consumers want to own those features to satisfy their needs, they have to pay at a higher price. For example, a new phone allows to take clear pictures in the dark so a professional photographer is willing to pay a lot to get good pictures in in the condition that lack of natural light. On the other hand, some people buy the latest tools just because they are trending. Besides, they want to be noticed by their expensive items. That's because for them, owning a limited or luxury tool is an excellent way to show the levels or the reputations of the rich men. However, they don't really have a need to take advantage of the new benefits the device offers. For example, a phone allows to use 2 sims but someone really only needs 1 sim to communicate, they don't use the other but they still buy that phone just because it is the newest device.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
have become popular with everyone. Owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
is quite normal if not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend a large amount of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this problem.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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new
features will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
, it will
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with a higher price,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
consumers want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
those features to satisfy their needs, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay at a higher price.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
Did you mean "taking"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
pictures in the dark
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a professional photographer is willing to pay a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
pictures
Possible typo: you repeated a word
in in
the condition that lack of natural light.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the latest tools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are trending.
Besides
, they want to
be noticed
by their expensive items. That's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for them, owning a limited or luxury tool is an excellent way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the levels or the reputations of the rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
However
, they don't
really
have a need to take advantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
benefits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
offers.
For example
, a phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
2 sims
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
someone
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
needs 1 sim to communicate, they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
that phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the newest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
.

IELTS academic Why do you think people spend too much money buying the latest devices?

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
214 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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