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what is favorite subject in your life

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The pie chart illustrate the value of green space to the people of Britain in 2009 and the number of visits from 2009-2011 to natural environment. Overall, the green space is very important for maximum people, whereas maximum proportion of visitors was visited countryside. In contrast, only for few people it is not at all important and seaside coastline has least visitors. In detail, green space was very important to one third of people in England, whereas only for 1% people it was not important at all. Around 4% people say it was not very important and for 21% of Britishers it was fairly important. Furthermore, maximum number of people in England was visited countryside which was 53%, while a tiny fraction of English people visited seaside coastline. In addition, 30% more people went to green space in town as compared to the visit to seaside resort.
The pie chart illustrate the value of
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green
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space
to the
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people
of Britain in 2009 and the number of visits from 2009-2011 to natural environment.
Overall
, the
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green
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space
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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important
for maximum
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people
, whereas maximum proportion of visitors
was visited
countryside.
In contrast
,
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only
for few
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people
it is not at all
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important
and seaside coastline has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
visitors. In detail,
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green
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space
was
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very
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important
to one third of
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people
in England, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for 1%
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people
it was not
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important
at all. Around 4%
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people
say it was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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important
and for 21% of Britishers it was
fairly
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important
.
Furthermore
, maximum number of
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people
in England
was visited
countryside which was 53%, while a tiny fraction of English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visited seaside coastline.
In addition
, 30% more
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people
went to
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green
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space
in town as compared to the visit to seaside resort.
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IELTS academic what is favorite subject in your life

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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