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he pie chart illustrates the percentage of adults who were overweight, obesse or severely obese in 2015.

he pie chart illustrates the percentage of adults who were overweight, obesse or severely obese in 2015. pK893
The pie chart illustrates the percentage of adults who were overweight, obesse or severely obese in 2015. Overall, the portion of adults who were obese made up the higest person followed by obese and healthy or underweight. Meanwhile, severly obese stood in the lowest position. To initiate with the highest point, the adults who were obese represented roughly a third came after by healthy or underweight and overweight. The propotion of the dults who got overweight compare with the highest number of just less than 3%. The number of adults who were healthy and underweight was seen in insignificantly lower number which occupied about a quater. The reserve pattern was seen in the figure of adults who get severly obese just constitued the lowest point that the number is represented as 6%. The problem of obese that the adults faced to in 2015 should be taken into account and others problem respectivily healthy, underweight and overweight.
The pie chart illustrates the percentage of
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adults
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who
were
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overweight
,
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obesse
or
severely
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obese
in 2015.

Overall
, the portion of
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adults
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who
were
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obese
made up the
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higest
person followed by
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obese
and
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healthy
or
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underweight
. Meanwhile,
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severly
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obese
stood in the lowest position.

To initiate with the highest point, the
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adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
represented roughly a third came after by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
underweight
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
. The
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propotion
of the
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dults
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
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overweight
compare with the highest
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number
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
less than 3%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
underweight
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
insignificantly
lower
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number
which occupied about a
Possible spelling mistake found.
quater
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
reserve pattern was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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severly
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obese
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
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constitued
the lowest point that the
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number
is represented
as 6%.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
problem of
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obese
that the
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adults
faced to in 2015 should
be taken
into account
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
problem
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectivily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
underweight
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
.
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IELTS academic he pie chart illustrates the percentage of adults who were overweight, obesse or severely obese in 2015.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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