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weekly money spent on fast food in britain and consumption trends

weekly money spent on fast food in britain and consumption trends QVq1P
The graphs illustrate the weekly expenses on different junk foods, in Britain and the craze for the fast food. It is clear from the data that people with high earnings spend lavishly on hamburgers, thus it has been maximally consumed fast food by 1990; to more than 500 grams by the year 1990, from approximately 50 grams, consumed in 1970. Whereas on the other hand, the people with minimal income spend the least on the pizza, slightly more than 5 pences per person in seven days. Though, the consumption has risen steadily in last two decades from 50 grams in 1970 to slightly less than 300 grams in 1990. Furthermore, the average income grade spends a decent amount on fish and chips but on the contrary, showed a plateau, in intake, in a lustrum, initially from 1970 to 1975, but shows a downfall in later decade and getting a hike in later years; from 1985 to 1990. The people with handsome income spend almost the same amount on pizza and fish and chips, contributing 20 pences and little higher than 15 pences, per person, respectively.
The graphs illustrate the weekly expenses on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
junk foods, in Britain and the craze for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the data that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with high earnings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
lavishly
on hamburgers,
thus
it has been
maximally
consumed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food by 1990; to more than 500
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grams
by the year 1990, from approximately 50
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grams
, consumed in 1970. Whereas
on the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with minimal income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the least on the pizza,
slightly
more than 5
Possible spelling mistake found.
pences
per person in seven days.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
, the consumption has risen
steadily
in last two decades from 50
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grams
in 1970 to
slightly
less than 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 1990.

Furthermore
, the average income grade
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spends
a decent amount on fish and chips
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the contrary
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a plateau, in intake, in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
lustrum
,
initially
from 1970 to 1975,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a downfall in later decade and getting a hike in later years; from 1985 to 1990. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with handsome income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
almost the same amount on pizza and fish and chips, contributing 20
Possible spelling mistake found.
pences
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
higher than 15
Possible spelling mistake found.
pences
, per person,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic weekly money spent on fast food in britain and consumption trends

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
185 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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