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Water consumption in Australia in 2004

Water consumption in Australia in 2004 YBPOm
The two charts, pie chart and bar chart, show how much water was consumed in Australia in the year 2004. Looking at the overall perspective, half of the water consumption was used by residential houses, followed by residential apartments, business, government, industry and others. Regarding the amount of water used by residents, the largest amount of water is used for taking a bath, followed by gardening which was over 25%. The water used in washing clothes was 10% more than that of in the toilet. But the least amount of water used by residents was in kitchen, which was only 10%, which was two times the use of water in washing clothes. On the other hand, the water used in business and industry was totally similar, the percentage being 10% and 11% respectively. But the water used by the government was 6% and the other was 3%, which was twice that of the use of water by the other
The two charts, pie chart and bar chart,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how much
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water
was consumed
in Australia in the year 2004. Looking at the
overall
perspective, half of the
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water
consumption was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by residential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, followed by residential apartments, business,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. Regarding the amount of
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by residents, the largest amount of
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water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for taking a bath, followed by gardening which was over 25%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in washing clothes was 10% more than that of in the toilet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the least amount of
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by residents was in kitchen, which was
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only
10%, which was two times the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in washing clothes. On the
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other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in business and industry was
totally
similar, the percentage being 10% and 11%
respectively
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
was 6% and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
was 3%, which was twice that of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
by the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
other
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IELTS academic Water consumption in Australia in 2004

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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