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Using a computer every day has no positive effect on children.Do you agree or disagree

Using a computer every day has no positive effect on children. PR31E
Ever since the beginning of 20th century there has been tremendous change in the field of technology. when children utilize computer every day has no positive effect on children. I completely disagree with the given statement. In, this regard, I would like to share my opinions in the upcoming paragraphs. To embark on, using a computer has numerous positive effect on children. First of all, when teenagers use computer in daily bases so they gain more knowledge about computer like how to install window in computer and how to remove virus. If person have full knowledge about computer they can easily get job because in present era mostly work done on computers. So, unemployment rate is also decline which is literally good for nation as well as individuals. Further, we can easily understand tough topic through the computers as well as laptops because we can see and listen so we can easily understand. Hence, using computer is a good habit. Furthermore, we can easily earn money through the computers. Firstly, in modern scenario mostly juveniles play game in computer and earn hefty amount of money. For instance, one of the most famous game is player unknown battlegrounds (pubg) in india professional gamer dynamo earn 3 to 4 lakh lakh money every month through the live streaming on computer. Nextly, when pupils use computer in daily bases so it's help to increase mental horizon. Hence, using a computer is good for children because it's help in future to jobs interviews. In conclusion, it has more positive effect on children. They can easily earn money through the games as Well as it also helps in study.
Ever since the beginning of 20th century there has been tremendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the field of technology.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
utilize computer every day has no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I completely disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. In, this regard, I would like to share my opinions in the upcoming paragraphs. To embark on, using a computer has numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer in daily bases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they gain more knowledge about computer like how to install window in computer and how to remove virus. If person have full knowledge about computer they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in present era
mostly
work done on computers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, unemployment rate is
also
decline which is
literally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for nation
as well
as individuals.
Further
, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
understand tough topic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the computers
as well
as laptops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and listen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
understand.
Hence
, using computer is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habit.

Furthermore
, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the computers.
Firstly
, in modern scenario
mostly
juveniles play game in computer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
hefty amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Please check whether a plural form of 'game' should be used.
game
is player unknown battlegrounds (
Possible spelling mistake found.
pubg
) in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
professional gamer dynamo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
3 to 4
Possible typo: you repeated a word
lakh lakh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
every month
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
live streaming
on computer.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nextly
, when pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer in daily bases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase mental horizon.
Hence
, using a computer is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in future to jobs interviews.

In conclusion
, it has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the games
as Well
as it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in study.
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IELTS academic Using a computer every day has no positive effect on children.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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