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Describe a traditional festival in Viet Nam

Describe a traditional festival in Viet Nam NlYRW
Referring to the special traditional festivals in Vietnam, it is impossible to mention the traditional festivals "Fisheries Festival", "Ba Chua Xu Festival" and many more. However, I like the festival of traditional animals, especially the "elephant racing festival". Everyone knows that the elephant is a traditional animal of Vietnam, associated with the war history to the present day. The elephant is an animal that is very close to people in the Central Highlands because it helps people carry, deliver or move goods. And it is also the companion of the people in the Central Highlands. Elephant racing festival takes a very important of traditional festivals of the Central Highlands ethnic groups in general, and the Mnong people in particular, to honor the martial spirit and talent of hunting and taming elephants. This is a unique and attractive festival held every two years in the third lunar month, in Buon Don (Dak Lak) where is known as the capital of elephants. The elephants selected to participate in the festival must be strong, and intelligent elephants. Therefore, the process of care and preparation of the elephant trainer is very elaborate, careful, time-consuming, and quite expensive. Before the competition day, the elephants will be washed, fed different kinds of food such as green grass or sugar cane, and trained in some more lessons to participate in festival activities, including worshiping ceremony for water wharf, the ceremony for worshiping health for elephants. On the day of the competition, before the opening time, the elephant will perform with the village elder to celebrate a health offering ceremony. After that, everyone sings and dances to the sound of gongs to officially enter the festival. The place chosen to race elephants in the festival is flat enough for 5-10 large elephants to stand in a horizontal row to participate. The elephant racing festival takes place only for one day, but it is a meaningful day with many emotions for the Central Highlands ethnic minorities. Therefore, if I have a chance, I will come there and watch this interesting festival live.
Referring to the special
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traditional
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festivals
in Vietnam, it is impossible to mention the
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traditional
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festivals
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"
Fisheries Festival
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"
,
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"
Ba
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Chua
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Xu
Festival
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"
and
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many
more.
However
, I like the
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festival
of
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traditional
animals,
especially
the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
elephant racing festival
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"
. Everyone knows that the
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elephant
is a
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traditional
animal of Vietnam, associated with the war history to the present day. The
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elephant
is an animal
that is
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very
close to
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people
in the
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Central
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Highlands
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because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
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people
carry, deliver or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
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goods
. And it is
also
the companion of the
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people
in the
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Central
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Highlands
.
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Elephant
racing
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festival
takes a
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very
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important
of
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traditional
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festivals
of the
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Central
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Highlands
ethnic groups
in general
, and the
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Mnong
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people
in particular
, to honor the martial spirit and talent of hunting and taming
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elephants
. This is a unique and attractive
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festival
held every two years in the third lunar month, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Buon
Don (
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Dak
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Lak
) where
is known
as the capital of
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elephants
. The
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elephants
selected to participate in the
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festival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be strong, and intelligent
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elephants
.
Therefore
, the process of care and preparation of the
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elephant
trainer is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
elaborate, careful, time-consuming, and quite expensive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the competition day, the
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elephants
will
be washed
, fed
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different
kinds of food such as green grass or sugar cane, and trained in
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some
more lessons to participate in
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festival
activities, including worshiping ceremony for water wharf, the ceremony for worshiping health for
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elephants
. On the day of the competition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the opening time, the
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elephant
will perform with the village elder to celebrate a health offering ceremony. After that, everyone sings and dances to the sound of gongs to
officially
enter the
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festival
. The place chosen to race
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elephants
in the
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festival
is flat
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enough
for 5-10 large
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elephants
to stand in a horizontal row to participate. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephant
racing
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festival
takes place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for one day,
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but
it is a meaningful day with
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many
emotions for the
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Central
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Highlands
ethnic minorities.
Therefore
, if I have a chance, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
this interesting
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festival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS academic Describe a traditional festival in Viet Nam

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
343 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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