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Unemployed workforces in different countries

Unemployed workforces in different countries 9BQ13
The line graph illustrates the percentage of the unemployed workforce in two countries, Japan and the United States during 6 years. There are two general basic trends. Upward and downward. As regards the first United states with 7% unemployment rate in March 1993, began declining slowly and reached 5% mark in the middle of 1996. from then on, it remained roughly the same until March 1999. albeit there were minor falls and rises in their rate. As for Japan, with a suitable unemployment rate at first, they could not save their position at 2. 5% and approximately their rate got approximately doubled during three years and reached just under 4. 5% in March 1996. afterwards, it increased dramatically in March 1998 and peaked at 5. 3%, the exact point of the united state's declining point. Then both countries in March 1999 had about 5% of their workforce unemployed with slight fluctuations in their rates. In conclusion, the number of unemployed in the United States decreased by 2% in the course of 6 years, while Japan increased by about 2. 5% percent.
The line graph illustrates the percentage of the unemployed workforce in two countries, Japan and the
United
States during 6 years.

There are two general basic trends. Upward and downward. As regards the
first
United states
with 7% unemployment rate in March 1993, began declining
slowly
and reached 5% mark in the middle of 1996.
from
then on, it remained roughly the same until March 1999.
albeit
there were minor falls and rises in their rate.

As for Japan, with a suitable unemployment rate at
first
, they could not save their position at 2. 5% and approximately their rate
got
approximately doubled during three years and reached
just
under 4. 5% in March 1996.
afterwards
, it increased
dramatically
in March 1998 and peaked at 5. 3%, the exact point of the
united
state's declining point. Then both countries in March 1999 had about 5% of their workforce unemployed with slight fluctuations in their rates.

In conclusion
, the number of unemployed in the
United
States decreased by 2% in the course of 6 years, while Japan increased by about 2. 5% percent.
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IELTS academic Unemployed workforces in different countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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