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UK Graduates Choosing Full-Time Employment

UK Graduates Choosing Full-Time Employment q69BD
The given bar graphs depict the information about the students who did not opt for full-time employment after doing their graduate and postgraduate in the year 2008. The calibration of the graphs is done in thousands. Overall, it can be seen that the popularity of part-time work and further study are on a higher scale in graduate and postgraduate students. Whereas few students are interested in joining voluntary work after completing college. Firstly, the trend for further study was massive among the given types of work in graduates and postgraduates, which is followed by 29, 665 and 2, 725 respectivelys. Furthermore, the proportion of part-time work for postgraduates was 2, 535 and it was 29, 665 for graduate students which was tremendous. However, the unemployment rate was nearly similar for both types of students which was 16, 235 for graduates and 1, 625 for postgraduates. Secondly, voluntary work had no major attraction in graduates as well as postgraduates. The statistics for that were 3, 500 for graduates and 345 for postgraduates.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graphs depict the information about the
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students
who did not opt for full-time employment after doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduate
in the year 2008. The calibration of the graphs
is done
in thousands.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the popularity of part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
further
study are on a higher scale in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Whereas few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are interested
in joining voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after completing college.

Firstly
, the trend for
further
study was massive among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
, which
is followed
by 29, 665 and 2, 725
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectivelys
.
Furthermore
, the proportion of part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
was 2, 535 and it was 29, 665 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which was tremendous.
However
, the unemployment rate was
nearly
similar for both types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which was 16, 235 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and 1, 625 for postgraduates.

Secondly
, voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
had no major attraction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
. The statistics for that were 3, 500 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and 345 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
.
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IELTS academic UK Graduates Choosing Full-Time Employment

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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