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Average number of annual hospital visits per capita among Glasgow residents

Average number of annual hospital visits per capita among Glasgow residents MlAPk
The given line graph tells about the average number of Glasgow residents visiting hospital over the period of 5 decades. It is seen that in the year 1960, an average of 2. 3 hospital visits were recorded. Although the number of people visiting hospitals decreased in the year 1970’s, where only 2. 1 average visits were seen, there is a steady rise seen since then. As in the year 1980, there were almost 2. 3 visits which is equal to the average seen in 1960. The year 1990 saw a small incline as the average visits recorded went over 2. 5. Furthermore, the world entered a new century, the Glasgow resident’s visits increased sharply as the new average recorded was almost 3 hospital visits per capita. In the first decade of the new century, that is, in 2010 the average was up another. 3 visits, which took the new average to 3. 3 hospital visits per capita. Thus, the data in the above paragraph tells us about how average visits of Glasgow residents to the hospitals have changed from the year 1960 to 2010.
The
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given
line graph
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tells
about the
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average
number of Glasgow residents visiting
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hospital
over the period of 5 decades.

It is
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seen
that in the
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year
1960, an
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average
of 2. 3
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hospital
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visits
were recorded
. Although the number of
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people
visiting
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hospitals
decreased in the
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year
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1970s".
1970’s
, where
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only
2. 1
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average
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visits
were
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seen
, there is a steady rise
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seen
since then. As in the
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year
1980, there were almost 2. 3
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visits
which is equal to the
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average
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seen
in 1960. The
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year
1990
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saw
a
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small
incline as the
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average
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visits
recorded went over 2. 5.
Furthermore
, the world entered a
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new
century, the Glasgow resident’s
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visits
increased
sharply
as the
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new
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average
recorded was almost 3
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hospital
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visits
per capita. In the
first
decade of the
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new
century,
that is
, in 2010 the
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average
was up another. 3
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visits
, which took the
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new
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average
to 3. 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
per capita.

Thus
, the data in the above paragraph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us about how
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
of Glasgow residents to the
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hospitals
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from the
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year
1960 to 2010.
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IELTS academic Average number of annual hospital visits per capita among Glasgow residents

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
184 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
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