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two maps showing the changes in Denham town from 1886 to present

two maps showing the changes in Denham town from 1886 to present x2QaQ
The maps illustrate the transformation of the town of Denham from 1886 to the present. One noticeable thing to observe from the diagrams is that the bridge towards the northeast remained the same as in 1886. According to the maps, shops located on the west side were completely demolished for the construction of houses whereas, post office stayed. Farmland on the south is entirely knocked out for the sake of housing. At present, it is vivid that housing dominates all the other sectors. In 1886, there was a farm and a garden on the east side of the river which was later on removed for the enlargement of the houses. Moreover, the roads have been built around the housing colony. Overall, from 1886 to the present accommodation has taken place all over, now they are no farms or gardens left behind.
The maps illustrate the transformation of the town of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Denham
from 1886 to the present.

One noticeable thing to observe from the diagrams is that the bridge towards the northeast remained the same as in 1886.

According to the maps, shops located on the west side were completely demolished for the construction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
whereas, post office stayed. Farmland on the south is
entirely
knocked out for the sake of housing. At present, it is vivid that housing dominates all the other sectors. In 1886, there was a farm and a garden on the east side of the river which was later on removed for the enlargement of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
Moreover
, the roads have
been built
around the housing colony.

Overall
, from 1886 to the present accommodation has taken place all over,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are no farms or gardens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind.
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IELTS academic two maps showing the changes in Denham town from 1886 to present

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
141 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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