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two graphs showing information about level of education (university degree, school certificate, no qualifications) in Glasgow, a city in Scotlan, in 2010.

two graphs showing information about level of education (university degree, school certificate, no qualifications) in Glasgow, a city in Scotlan, in 2010. pJnja
There are two graphs showing information about level of education (university degree, school certificate, no qualifications) in Glasgow, a city in Scotlan, in 2010. The first graph is a bar chart that illustrated data about the levels of education by age range and the second graph is a pie chart that shows the education levels by gender. Overall, the bar chart show that there are a large proportion of population without qualification between 75 years old or more. It is also demonstrate contrast with the new generations around sixteen year old to fifty years old had a university degree in those year. The pie chart show as women and men have the same percentage in school certificate, and with slight similarities between university degree and no qualifications. The percentage in the bar chart shows approximately the same information for each lever of education from the ages 16 to 50 years old around the 73. 5% of the people had a university degree on the other 17. 5% and the rest had qualification. It is different with people between fifty to seventy five, and in the last bar shows the people with more than 75 years old presenting a 72% of people without a qualification. The pie graph demonstrate an equal quantities in men an woman with an school certificate and a slow different between university degree and no qualifications.
There are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graphs
showing information about level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, school certificate, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications)
in Glasgow, a city in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Scotlan
, in 2010. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
is a bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
that illustrated data about the levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
by age range and the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
is a pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
levels by gender.

Overall
, the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
that there are a large proportion of population without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
between 75 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
or more. It is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "demonstrated".
demonstrate
contrast with the new generations around sixteen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
to fifty years
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old
had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. The pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
as women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have the same percentage in school certificate, and with slight similarities between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and no qualifications.

The percentage in the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
approximately the same information for each lever of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from the ages 16 to 50 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
around the 73. 5% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
on the other 17. 5% and the rest had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between fifty and seventy".
between fifty to seventy
five, and in the last bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more than 75 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
presenting a 72% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without a qualification.

The pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
demonstrate an equal quantities in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
woman with
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
school certificate and a slow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
.
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IELTS academic two graphs showing information about level of education (university degree, school certificate, no qualifications) in Glasgow, a city in Scotlan, in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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