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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of men, women and children in UK consume more than five portion of vegetables and fish.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of men, women and children in UK consume more than five portion of vegetables and fish. NMdXj
Overall, the percentage of men and women eating more than five portion of vegetables and fish were increase gradually while the number of children consuming vegetable and fish fluctuated throughout the period. In the first three year(2011, 2012 and 2013), women started the most percentage above men and children eating more than five portions of vegetables and fish at 20% and peak at 36% in 2016 then slightly decrease to 30% in the final year. The number of males has lower percentage than those of female, however, there is steady rise until finished at approximately 27% in the last year. Children have the least percentage compare to men and women. The number of kids consuming more than five portion of vegetables and fish were 10% in the first year and fluctuated throughout the time frame. At the end of the period, the proportion of children eating more than 5 portion of vegetables and fish were finish at 15%.
Overall
, the
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percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women eating more than five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
portion
of
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vegetables
and fish were increase
gradually
while the number of children consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetable
and fish fluctuated throughout the period.

In the
first
three year(2011, 2012 and 2013), women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
the most
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percentage
above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and children eating more than five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
portions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and fish at 20% and peak at 36% in 2016 then
slightly
decrease to 30% in the final year. The number of males has lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
than those of female,
however
, there is steady rise until finished at approximately 27% in the last year.

Children have the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
compare to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women. The number of kids consuming more than five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
portion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and fish were 10% in the
first
year and fluctuated throughout the time frame. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, the proportion of children eating more than 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
portion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and fish were finish at 15%.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the proportion of men, women and children in UK consume more than five portion of vegetables and fish.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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