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travel to and from school: children age 5-12

travel to and from school: children age 5-12 wM5Vl
The bar chart displays the change of school transportation activities of 5-12-years old children in a country between 1990-2000. Firstly, the moderetely used transportation method is indicated as walking with more than 12 million trips in 1990. approximately 40% of students uses bus. Bus, cycling, and walking and bus also mainly used for reaching and leaving to school in the same year, but each of them maximum half for walking. Only 10% of children is uses cars with the smallest percentage of this subject. Car usage became mainly transportation method to the school for this age group in 2010. When we compare with the other year, three fold change is observing. Travel by walking continue to protect the importance in the same year with second mainly transportation method. Also, cycling became less widely used in this year. To sum up, obtained information from different years present the differenciation between access to home and school.
The bar chart displays the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of
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school
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transportation
activities of 5-12-years
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old
children in a country between 1990-2000.

Firstly
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
moderetely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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transportation
method
is indicated
as walking with more than 12 million trips in 1990.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
approximately


40% of students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
bus. Bus, cycling, and walking and bus
also
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for reaching and leaving to
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school
in the same
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year
,
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but
each of them maximum half for walking.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
10% of children is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
cars with the smallest percentage of this subject.

Car usage became
mainly
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transportation
method to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for this age group in 2010. When we compare with the other
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year
,
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
three fold
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is observing. Travel by walking continue to protect the importance in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with second
mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
method.
Also
, cycling became less
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in this year.

To sum up, obtained information from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years present the
Possible spelling mistake found.
differenciation
between access to home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS academic travel to and from school: children age 5-12

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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