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The Pie Chart Gives Information on UAE Government Spending in 2000

The Pie Chart Gives Information on UAE Government Spending in 2000 L36eR
The pie chart illustrates the expenditure of the UAE government in the year 2000 for 10 different sectors with a complete budget of AED 315 billion. Overall, It is observed that the UAE government spends the highest amount of money on the development of social securities and, health and personal social services sector. Whereas, least on the transportation sector. Generally, The government of UAE has spent one-fourth of part of its budget on the social security sector, which is AED 100 billion and AED 53 billion, on the development of the health and personal social service sector, respectively. At the same time, the least amount of budget was allotted to the transportation sector with AED 9 billion. On the contrary, two equal amounts (AED 23 billion) of the budget was used for the other expenditure and debt interest sector. Whereas AED 22 billion was invented for the development of the education and defence sector. The UAE government utilised UAE 17 billion and uae 15 billion for upgrading law and order and housing heritage and environment sectors, respectively. The remaining AED 13 BILLION of the budget was spent on industry, agriculture and the employment sector in 2000.
The pie chart illustrates the expenditure of the UAE
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government
in the year 2000 for 10
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different
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sectors
with a complete
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budget
of AED 315 billion.

Overall
, It
is observed
that the UAE
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government
spends the highest amount of money on the development of
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social
securities and, health and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, least on the transportation sector.

Generally
, The
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government
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the UAE".
of UAE
has spent one-fourth of part of its
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budget
on the
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social
security
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sector
, which
is AED
100
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billion
and AED 53
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billion
, on the development of the health and personal
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social
service
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sector
,
respectively
. At the same time, the least amount of
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budget
was allotted
to the transportation
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sector
with AED 9 billion.

On the contrary
, two equal amounts (AED 23
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billion)
of the
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budget
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the other expenditure and debt interest
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sector
. Whereas AED 22
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billion
was invented
for the development of the education and
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
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sector
. The UAE
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government
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
UAE 17
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billion
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
uae
15
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billion
for upgrading law and order and housing heritage and environment
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sectors
,
respectively
. The remaining AED 13
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BILLION
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
was spent
on industry, agriculture and the employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
in 2000.
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IELTS academic The Pie Chart Gives Information on UAE Government Spending in 2000

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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