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Transport preferencences among young people

Transport preferencences among young people xMR1
The bar chart provides information about tthe percentage of cars, motorcycles, bicycles used by young people in four different countries namely Great Britian, USA, Germany and France. overall, cars are most used in Great Britian, USA and France compared to the other transportation. But, Germany uses more bicycles. France uses most number of cars almost 75% which is followed by two countries Great Britian and USA with 60%. the least number of cars are used by germans with 40%. More number of Motorcycles are used in USA around 30%. Next in the lead is germany with 15% which is around 5% more than france and Great Britin. Bicycles are more preffered by germans around 45% next it is Great Britin with 30% followed by france and USA with approximately 13% and 10% respectively.
The bar chart provides information about
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tthe
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, motorcycles, bicycles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
namely
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Great
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Britian
, USA, Germany and France.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
,
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cars
are most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Great
Possible spelling mistake found.
Britian
, USA and France compared to the other transportation.
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But
, Germany
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
more bicycles.

France
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
most number of
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cars
almost 75% which
is followed
by two countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Great
Possible spelling mistake found.
Britian
and USA with 60%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
least number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
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germans
with 40%.

More number of Motorcycles are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
around 30%.
Next
in the lead is
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germany
with 15% which is around 5% more than
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france
and
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Great
Possible spelling mistake found.
Britin
.

Bicycles are more
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preffered
by
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germans
around 45%
next
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Great
Possible spelling mistake found.
Britin
with 30% followed by
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france
and USA with approximately 13% and 10%
respectively
.

IELTS academic Transport preferencences among young people

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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