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tourist attraction in edinburgh

tourist attraction in edinburgh 86LAP

It is clear from the line graph show that during the 1980s and 1995s, there was a significant increase in visitors to the castle from about 23% to nearly 45% and the proportion dropped gradually to 30% in 2010. The trend for the aquarium was similar to the castle. Visitors rose dramatically from 20% to around 35% between 1980 and 1985 and then gradually decreased to under 10% over the next twenty-five years. On the other hand, the proportion of tourists who visited the festival fluctuated slightly but in general, remained stable at about 25% from 1980 to 2010. Visitors to the zoo also fluctuated between 1980 and 2000 and then rose sharply from 10% to 20% from 2000 to 2010.

It is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :apparent
clear
 from the line graph This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :demonstrateportrayindicatedisplay
show
 that during the 1980s and 1995s, there was a significant increase in visitors to the castle from about 23% to nearly
 45% and the proportion dropped gradually
 to 30% in 2010. The trend for the aquarium was similar to the castle. Visitors rose dramatically
 from 20% to around 35% between 1980 and 1985 and then gradually
 decreased to under 10% over the next
 twenty-five years. On the other hand
, the proportion of tourists who visited the festival fluctuated slightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
in general
, remained stable at about 25% from 1980 to 2010. Visitors to the zoo also
 fluctuated between 1980 and 2000 and then rose sharply
 from 10% to 20% from 2000 to 2010. 

IELTS academic tourist attraction in edinburgh

Academic

American English

1 paragraphs

121 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 7.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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