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The given picture illustrates the process by which cement and concrete are produced.

The given picture illustrates the process by which cement and concrete are produced. gAbml
The given picture illustrates the process by which cement and concrete are produced. Overall, it is clear that there are five states in the production of cement, while the procedure for producing concrete from cement and a few other simple ingredients involves a single state. In the first stage of process for cement, limestone and clay are crushed using two rotating drums to make a fine powder which is then mixed in a cylindrical mixer before being involved a tube-like rotating heater with a blowtorch mounted at its bottom opening. The mixed powder is fed from the top and simultaneously heated and blended. After this stage has been completed, the result is transferred to a grinder using a conveyor belt and then packed in bags. This cement is used as raw material in the procedure of concrete in a second proces. An initial mixture composed of 15% cement, 25% sand, 10% water and 50% gravel is fed into a rotating concrete mixer, where the ingredients are stirred until the concrete mix is ready for construction purposes.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
picture illustrates the process by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and concrete
are produced
.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are five states in the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, while the procedure for producing concrete from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and a few other simple ingredients involves a single state.

In the
first
stage of process for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, limestone and clay
are crushed
using two rotating drums to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fine powder which is then mixed in a cylindrical mixer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being involved
a tube-like rotating heater with a blowtorch mounted at its bottom opening. The mixed powder
is fed
from the top and
simultaneously
heated and blended. After this stage has
been completed
, the result
is transferred
to a grinder using a conveyor belt and then packed in bags.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as raw material in the procedure of concrete in a second
Possible spelling mistake found.
proces
. An initial mixture composed of 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, 25% sand, 10% water and 50% gravel
is fed
into a rotating concrete mixer, where the ingredients
are stirred
until the concrete mix is ready for construction purposes.
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IELTS academic The given picture illustrates the process by which cement and concrete are produced.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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