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The pie charts compare the proportion of different energy kinds produced in France between 1995 and 2010.

The pie charts compare the proportion of different energy kinds produced in France between 1995 and 2010. WYRRD
The pie charts compare the proportion of different energy kinds produced in France between 1995 and 2010. It can be seen that the significant sources to produce energy were Gas and Coal in both years. Also the figure witnessed a gradual decrease in Coal source while the proportion for the rest of energy sources had an opposite trend over the 15-year period shown in France. According to the graphs, France generated energy primarily by Gas and Coal; however, the percentage of Coal was slightly higher than that of Gas in both 1995 and 2010. In 1995, France used 29, 30% Coal to produce energy, compared to 29, 63% of Gas energy, then both figures increased minimally to 30, 93% and 30, 31% respectively during the period. . The proportion of other sources, on the other hand, was the smallest one over all sources of energy, under 5% in 1995 and rose up in 2010, by approximately 5%. Looking at other figures, Petrol was not being used much over the time shown, the figure had a considerable downtrend, compared to the rest of energy production, from 29, 27% to 19, 55%. In 2010, France took advantage of Nuclear sources to generate energy as much as Coal, Gas and other sources, the proportion of Nuclear energy increased by 5% over 15 years shown.
The pie charts compare the
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proportion
of
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different
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energy
kinds produced in France between 1995 and 2010.

It can be
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seen
that the significant
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sources
to produce
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energy
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were
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Gas
and Coal in both years.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the
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figure
witnessed a gradual decrease in Coal
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source
while the
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proportion
for the rest of
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
had an opposite trend
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over
the 15-year period shown in France.

According to the graphs, France generated
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energy
primarily
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gas
and Coal;
however
, the percentage of Coal was
slightly
higher than that of
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Gas
in both 1995 and 2010. In 1995, France
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
29, 30% Coal to produce
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energy
, compared to 29, 63% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gas
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energy
, then both
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figures
increased
minimally
to 30, 93% and 30, 31%
respectively
during the period.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
The
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proportion
of
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, on the
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other
hand, was the smallest one
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over
all
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sources
of
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energy
, under 5% in 1995 and rose up in 2010, by approximately 5%.

Looking at
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
, Petrol was not being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
much
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over
the time shown, the
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figure
had a considerable downtrend, compared to the rest of
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energy
production, from 29, 27% to 19, 55%. In 2010, France took advantage of Nuclear
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sources
to generate
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energy
as much as Coal,
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Gas
and
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, the
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proportion
of Nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
increased by 5%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
15 years shown.
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IELTS academic The pie charts compare the proportion of different energy kinds produced in France between 1995 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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